Texas time. A-Rod just may get that smooch after all.
I also have to come home with an impressive autograph. I indirectly know a sick kid, and he asked us to bring him back something. Unless my move on A-Rod goes better than I am planning, I won't be bringing back a jersey. I'm also fairly small, and not the odds-on favorite to come out of the scrum with a foul ball that lands in the stands- unless it rolls, at which point it will be a race between me and whatever kids are around.
I plan on wearing a Red Sox shirt, so my strategy should probably be to try and get some momento from a Boston player. Manny looks a bit surly, Mr. Ortiz may be a little large for me to be bullying into surrendering his hat, and Schilling will be starting(Torre is too smart to not cost the Sox another $100K). Once I get near a player, I have to use perhaps the oldest autograph seeking trick in the book- the "Sick Kid."
I'll think of somethin'...
Barry Bonds probably has no idea that AOL just sent a pretty twisted Boston fan with a national forum to Houston. Barry had some bad things to say about Boston, and he will be within my yelling range.
I'm a schoolteacher, and I have a voice that carries, as my husband says. I'll be on his ass like Preparation H. If he comes into the stands after me, watch close- I will get in at least one well-placed kick, and I was a HS soccer player.
I also need to get a hat. I don't mean a baseball cap. I mean one of those big Charlie Daniels hats. My students, who are primarily urban northeastern blacks, politely refer to these as "brother-hating hats." As Antoine put it, "Not all cowboys are racist...I know some good people from Texas....but when a brother sees a bunch of those hats coming, he's like "Uh Oh."
I tried to explain to Antoine that many cowboys were black guys, that the Wild West offered a chance for a man to be judged by his work rather than his race, and that the man who invented the Bulldog takedown of steers- Nat Love, who may have been the best legitimate cowboy in our history- was as black as James Brown.
It didn't matter. Once kids have a visual, you're half-dead. When they learned I was French-born, I'd get questions about having cheese for breakfast, and what the best $1.99 bottle of wine is.
Answers:
A) Cheese for breakfast will give you a tummy ache
B) MD 20/20- which will also give you a tummy ache.
8 comments:
Manny looks like sideshow Mel- how can you say he looks surly?
You're not 5 feet tall....Pokey Reese looks threatening to me...
we just had zztop here in muskegon the other day for our summer celebration
where do we find such attractive women who know sports like you do who are single.....that would be an interesting column.
Manny may be funny looking but he can "ALMOST" hit the ball as well as Barry Bonds. Anyone that can do that deserves props. There is only one Barry Bonds, but in the American League Manny tops the league. Thank God he is not a Yankee!
I think you are on to something with your comment about Antione, only it doesn't only pertain to kids. I'm a 28/m and I too see a "cowboy hat" and think of tight pants, tobacco dripp'n from lip, drunk man, just needing a reason to show how "TUFF" they are. I understand the history and pride factors but times have changed and there's nothing worst than the racial ignorance of a small town cowboy.
I thought this entry was interesting....I live in Houston, and I meet a lot of people from all over the world. And its sad to say that we have that kind of reputation. Yes there are a lot of cowboys here, but if you are not at a rodeo, or one of Texas' smaller towns, you dont see them like people imagine. Here in Houston, the only time I ever see the stampeed of "big brother hats" is during Houston Livestock Show & Rodeo. And just for Antoine's record's...I was engaged to a black cowboy. He is an ""OK" bullrider, and he is very good at calf roping. There is an annual Easter rodeo in Liberty TX. Mostly everyone there is black. Check into it. Maybe you will find this sport as interesting as the others, and show your students the real images of Texas.
-Felicia
Bronco Jefferson?
I was disappointed in Houston, because there weren't enough cowboy hats on the streets. I guess cities do breed sophistication...or wearing one of those hats is like saying "Rob Me" as you walk through the tough parts of town.
I suppose I should have driven out into the countryside and saw some serious redneckage, but I was too pregnant.
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