"He's as tough as a waffle house steak, folks"

   I know a lot of people who simply can't wait for football season. As a teacher, I want to throttle these people....but that's not today's post, kids.

   I actually AM looking forward to football season. My local team (Go PATS!!!!!!) is in a title reign. Their coach should probably be running the Iraq war. The quarterback is gorgeous...and I might add that I'm FAR better in the sack than Bridget Moynahan- as long as the lights are off, and we don't talk about money.

   Actually, I will be veh-dee interested in the Minnesota Vikings training camp. This interest has nothing to do with that Adonis they have playing QB(mmmmmmmmm), and has everything to do with a rookie free agent defensive tackle prospect named Brock Lesnar.

   This dude didn't just walk in after being an undrafted All-Conference player at Iowa. He didn't even play in college. He's also been out of college for a few years, and I believe his last organized football game was in high school. Football is probably his second-best sport.

   Brock Lesnar comes to the Vikings camp from World Wrestling Entertainment©. He came to the WWE from a career as a champion college wrestler. He's 6'3", 283 pounds, cut like a Renaissance statue, and no one has chop-blocked his knees since 1994. The WWE ran his stats once, and the only number I remember was a 40" vertical leap...but the other numbers were astounding, as well.

   Now, wrestling is indeed "fake", in that the outcomes of the matches are pre-determined. It is also very "real" in regards to the athleticism and suffering involved. Wrestlers are in phenmonenal shape, and take a terrific beating. I don't mean the Jackhammer slam Lesnar suffered at the hands of Goldberg(the first player cut from the expansion Carolina Panthers team), although I'd imagine that hurt quite a bit. I mean the day-to-day pain, and the ability to suck it up and do a night's work.

   Wrestling is football's estranged cousin, in that both attract that no-necked, barrel-chested type of kid. Many wrestlers have high-level football backgrounds. Ernie Ladd, Manny Fernandez and Wahoo McDaniel were long-time NFL stars who got into wrestling. Ron Simmons was All Something at Florida State before he became the WWE's charming "Farooq" persona. The Rock played at Miami. Stone Cold and Bradshaw played college ball in Texas. Lex Luger and Brian Pillman almost made the NFL. This- to my knowledge- is the first time someone has gone from wrestling to football, though.

   I see Brock having a few problems:

- while I'm no doctor, I'm pretty sure Brock got himself a serious concussion when he fumbled his moonsult attempt on Your Olympic Hero Kurt Angle at Wrestlemania Whatever a year or two ago. For the uninitiated, a "moonsault" is a reverse backflip off a 5 foot high post. The Big Guy landed right on his head, and had the look of someone who was a bit concussed afterwards. While his staggering and collapse may have been a part of the script...it may not have been. Concussions are not well-regarded by NFL teams, and many a career has ended because of them. Could be a great lawsit in 2009, or so.

- Brock, during his time in the WWE, didn't seem like the coldest beer in the six-pack, if you know what I mean. The impression I got was "big...dumb...hayseed....hit in the head a lot." NFL defensive schemes are complicated, and veterans aren't going to like Brock interrupting team meetings to ask what a "sweep" is. Brock's last coach was some hick in Minnesota who was probably the gym teacher, as well. He will be far down on the Learning Scale. He'd be just about to approach the uphill part of the Bell Curve.

- Many of his opponents might take cheap shots at him, for a goof. I can see two tackles talking on the sidelines already: "It's 34-0, in the 4th quarter....the next chance I get, I'm going to head slap Hollywood Hulk over there."  One could also do some Big Poppa Pump flexing over Brock if one managed to deck him with a blind-side block on an interception return or a kickoff.

- "Small" and "283 pounds" aren't two terms that go together very often outside of zoos.  They will indeed fit the bill when making a sentence to describe Brock's weight in relation to the average size of most defensive linemen. You could hide Brock very easily behind a guy like Ted "Mount" Washington.

   All in all, it should be fun to watch. Minnesota had a wrestler/governor for a while...why not a wrestler/tackle? Maybe he'll tear the NFL apart in a few years. At worst, we get to see some big dummy get knocked out.