We now have our Finalists. The Detroit Pistons and the LA Lakers. Offense vs Defense. West Coast vs East Coast(of Lake Superior or something). Flash vs Bash. Rip vs Rape. The worst 7 foot rapper of all time vs an afro you could hide an Olsen Twin or two in.
This one looks like a good old fashioned country ass whuppin'. LA has 4 guys who can get points easier than the best Detroit scorer. They have a huge height advantage inside. They have a guard no Piston can stop. They have guys with rings, a coach looking to knock off Auerbach's record, and old vets who have been through the wars before. The Pistons have 2 chances of winning this scrap:
A) Slim
B) None
...and as for old Slim...he just left town, Jack.
Detroit is in the Finals because they play an intimidating style of D that is centered around the power of Ben Wallace in the middle. Wallace, who is the textbook definition of an East Coast center, will give up 4 inches and 50 pounds to Shaq, and won't be much quicker.
Haq-a-Shaq will rob Detroit of the heart of its' defense, although Wallace will no doubt make fine use of his fouls. What has been a strength for Detroit all year- inside power- will suddenly become a startling deficiency when they meet the Daddy.
Kobe just won't take no for an answer from the slender Hamilton. He'll ravage him like a Vail hostess. This is a guy who wants to leave LA after a statement-making series, and Detroit will be just another victim to the God of Both Courts. Unless Chauncey can light up Payton for 30 a game, the backcourt edge for LA will be almost comical. The Prince/George matchup really doesn't matter at all.
Detroit can goon it up, injure Kobe, and force Shaq to shoot 20 free throws a game. Maybe they've been hiding Darko all year, and he will make his debut in the LA series to the tune of 30ppg, 55% shooting, 12 rpg and 20 blocks- all while throwing a blanket on Shaq in a 4 game rout.
Enjoy it while it lasts, La La Land. Karl Malone went to HS with Kobe's grandaddy, GP wants out, and Kobe stands a chance of being on another team next year...or in jail. A major injury to Shaq puts this team at .500, and his retirement puts them in the Lottery.
If Detroit wins this series, look for Larry Brown to ascend into Heaven as the final buzzer sounds.
26 comments:
Monponsett - while you write an entertaining piece I disagree this will be a walk. Having watched the Lakers all year and their penchant to self destruct, they will find a way to make this at least a 6 game series. your last paragraph explains why this will be close - 4 hall of famers all dressed up and nowhere to go.
All the Pi-Stones have to do is win game one and the Lakers will be exposed for the old selfish act they are. The Lakers play to their level of competition and this series will be close. Billups will do to the Glove what Rip did to the old man in Indianoplace. Rip and Kobe will play even so it comes down to Malone vs. Wallace and Karl can match elbows with anybody.
Would just love to see the Lakers go down but probably too good to be true. Couldn't happen to a nicer group of fellas or role models.
At least the Stones like one another.
Lakers win on paper but the Gods will watch over the Stones.
detroit in 6 or 7 yhe best d la has seen all year you say a huge height advantage wallace and wallace memo 7 foot elden 7 foot detroit has better bench
i'm predicting a sweep by the Pistons after Shaq goes 0 for 150 from the free throw stripe, Kobe gets arrested for something else, and Karl Malone forgets to take his Geritol!!!
Hope springs eternal...
You sound like a bitter Boston Celtics fan. The Pistons have more class than the entire LA roster. I'm not saying Detroit will win, but they will give the Lakers a real battle.
I have no doubt that Detroit will make a tough go of it. I just think they are tremendously out-gunned.
I'm not bitter. I'm just perpetually angry because the Celtics are in a 20 year drought. I'm actually rooting for Detroit. I just don't see it happening.
Detroit is indeed classy. Ben Wallace has worked harder than anyone to get his game to that next level. Billups and Hamilton are a fine backcourt. Rasheed, well....he's a good low post scorer.
Detroit has a better bench, plays better D, and has a better coach. It doesn't matter. LA has the Daddy and the Defendant, and Detroit has nothing to counter either.
I like Larry Brown as a coach ,but I Dont want him beating my lakers so Larry forget it ,give them the trophy .L.A in six
Hey, MonPon -
While I do agree with most of your diatribe, as blatantly obvious as it all is, I must loudly disagree with your statemenr regarding the Mail Man's age...Considering I am 6 yrs. older than Malone and was feeding Italian ice to Kobe's daddy (playing for the Sixers at the time), while also graduating from Kobe's high school the year before he was born, your "grandpa" statement is ridiculous...
As for Detroit's chances in the series, unless Shaq or Kobe is suffering from a bad case of CO (no, not Colorado) poisoning, this one's over in 5...Of course, it is Hollywood so 6 games may just make a better script.
And there's always a playah who steps up in every championship series - and it's no coincidence that his parents rushed to name him Kareem...
I love Larry Brown, but if the Pistons are not greased to score more than 85 a game, after trying desperately to keep it under the speed limit against the Pacers, it could get FORD-ugly...
You feelin' me?
No offense to the elderly...there's a lot of NBA power forwards half Karl's age who can only wish they were playing in June.
I have actually enjoyed Malone this year. This is a guy who put himself on the Lakers for a lot less money than he could have made elsewhere. While I might call this "riding jock", it does show a desire to win championships. If you listen really closely, you can hear Karl Malone's great great grandson cursing this decision in 2134 AD, when Karl's money finally runs out.
What I like about Malone 2004 is that he is willingly accepting 3rd banana status for the benefit of the team, a lesson Mr. Bryant could use some exposure to. Karl is championship focus personified, and basically took the dirty work upon himself in the last two series. He has roughed it up when needed, shot when needed, passed well when needed, and even took to playing the two man game(Hey NOW) with Bryant. He has been very consistent and has been a true leader.
That said, this dude is old. He reads the Bible and reminisces.
The last reviews I can remember, that was so lopsided was the super bowl. If you wacthed that game,it was one of the best ever. this just might be that good.7 games final seconds toss up.
I hear that. One thing that was going through my head when I was writing my review was how bloody shocked I was when the New England Patriots won their first Super Bowl. I will never cease to be amazed by the world of Sports.
Great to read your thoughts on various issues. Keep them coming.
I'm good for a thought a day...2 on weekend days.
Watch out for "Those Daymm Pistons"
I guess some die-hard Laker fan see's nothing around them but Yellow and Blue, but they better start paying attention to "Those Daymm Detriot Pistons". Those same Detriot Pistons that were under-estimated last time these two teams matched up in the finals and ended up sweeping L.A. Those same Detriot Pistons that supposely stood little or no chance of beating Indiana but ended up having a "block party" on they ass.
Lets draw this thing out for some of you. We all know Shaq will have an advantage over Ben Wallace, but they key here is will Shaq be able to have free reign in the paint and we all know the answer to that is "NO". He will put up his numbers but Big Ben and the Pistons will be the best defense force he's seen this playoff run. As for Kobe, he's simply Kobe and he will due his thing. But don't think for a moment that Larry Brown is going to just let RIP handle him, matter of fact don't be surprised if ya'll see T. Prince cover him. And we all know that Prince is a pretty good defener. If you doubt that just ask T. McGrady who got locked down last season when we put Prince on him. Or you can ask R. Artest who seened to have a headache with the number 22 writen on it. I think Reggie Miller would somewhat agree also after getting rejected. On the other end of things, "who is gonna chase RIP around all those daymm screens?" If Kobe ends up matched on RIP it will definitely take from his offense. And we have yet to mention the contributions that R. Wallace will make to this series. If the Lakers are gonna dominiate this series like some Die-Hard fans what them too G. Payton is gonna have to step up his game and thus far he's yet to do it. He's gonna have his hands full with C. Billups who is wayyy better than people give him credit for.
The Lakers may end up winning this series, but a sweep is
Celtics fan, babe.
Detroit in 6 why Shaq will not have his way with big Ben Wallace,the mailman dont deliver on sundays and definitly not against Rasheed prince shuts down the raper and Rip well he learned from the best (MJ) and Billups is under rated so Kobe go to war or go to jail and as for the Lakers getting there senior discount on Malone and payton it wont work look at barkely
All of you haters need to wake the hell up out of your fantasy daydream. The Lakers are going to KILL Detroit. The only way that Detroit has a chance is if the Lakers have to play 5 on 8, but as LA proved in the last two series, they can even overcome that. Is it just me or have the refs been the absolute worst this year? I am not just talking about against L.A. I am a true fan, so even though my team is LA, I watch all of the games. As always, there are certain players that have targets on their backs, but it has seemed as if every player on LA has had one. Then I noticed that the officiating in other series was just as awful. Someone from the league office needs to go back and review all of the playoff games with a lot of scrutiny. Half of those guys in the finals need to be fired. Nevertheless, back to my Lakers. Ben Wallace is a great talent with great heart, but someone PLEASE show him how to make a layup. No contest against Shaq. Rasheed is very well rounded, but I think that his temper will mysteriously show back up once he gets frustrated by the lack of output from other players. Rip will R.I.P. after being hooked by the "Fisher", held to eleven by Devon (George), and handled by "the glove" (not to mention being rushed by Kareem). LA is much to deep offensively, but I will give the series 6 games. With all of that crooked officiating, they are going to stretch it out as long as possible since they know that they will be out of work next year. Happy 10th, Phil!!
sorry, but you are making assumptions a little too soon son. the pistons are also nba players, so they have as much right to the championship as does the fakers!you will as so many others will be surprised when the pistons end up on top.go pistons. louisiana boy
" beat La "
I'd like to see the Pistons do it. I'm too Bahhhhhhhston parochial to root for either team. I think the Lakers are an absolutely superb team. I just think that it would be more entertaining of a series if the Pistons could pull of some John Henry sh*t, and outfight the diesel. I also think that the only way the Pistons could win is if:
A) Kobe falls apart, confesses, and is lynched by a mob of bloodthirsty ski instructors.
B) The Pistons play like the Oglethorpe, and we see Basketbrawl. I'd shell out PPV money to see Shaq fight Wallace.
C) Larry Brown executes the Cannae of basketball, which would serve as a lesson for hundreds of years. I'll get around to Cannae in a later post. To be brief, it was what won Hannibal his reputation before the A Team came on.
pretty low class bringing out rape and making all those insensitve comments. What if it was you that committed that crime or if it was your sister that was the victim. This is basketball not put downs since it is just a game. But your'e probabbly not educated. Every one is human and makes mistakes but thru Jesus Christ can be forgiven. Remember it is just a game.
Well luckily for us Detroit fans we have to play the games before giving the ring to Malone and company!
Everyone thinks the La-Fakers will just run over the Pistons..Ha!! HA!! HA!!
I can't wait till the Pistons prove all of you BUMBS!! WRONG!!.. Everyone says the Pistons have no one to check Whack Shaq... BUT WHO DO THE LAKERS HAVE TO CHECK RIP>HAMILTON ( exactly no one) Kobe can't run around chasing RIP.. but if he does run around chasing Rip...well then that's good for the Pistons. Get his punk ass tired. First you hear how no one plays defense in the NBA. And they say Defense wins Championships. But now they say la-fakers has to much offense DUH!!!! What happen to Defense wins Championships.... YOU NONE BELIEVERS WILL SEE!!!!!!! AFTER THE PISTONS WINS THE SERIES.
DETROIT 'BAD BOYS' PISTONS IN SIX (GUARANTEE YOU BUMBS)
PS. IF SHAQ WANTS TO WAIT HIS FAT SLOPPY ASS IN THE PAINT BECAUSE HE'S TO FAT TO MOVE AROUND HERE'S THE LINE-UP I WOULD PUT IN TO BRING HIS FAT ASS OUT THE PAINT OR SIT HIS ASS ON THE BENCH
R.WALLACE / M.OKUR / T. PRINCE / RIP HAMILTON / C.BILLUPS
I BET PHIL J. SIT HIS ASS DOWN!!! IF HE DON'T THEN I WOULD 3POINT THERE ASS OUT OF THE BUILDING.........
DETROIT BAD BOY
We give all due respect to the Pistons. They pay hard and hurt and win but, this is for the ring baby and believe it when I tell you. The Lakers will not be denied. L.A. in 6.
This'll be the most competitive NBA Finals in years. The old men from LA better not take these guys lightly. The "La la's" undoubtedly have more talent than "Ston(e)s," but the new "Bad Boy's" do have talent of their own. "Ben" is intimidating (let's see Malone use one of those elbows of his on Ben), is the best "off the ball"defender in the NBA today, and has improved offensively. "Sheed" can do it both defensively and offensively. "Rip" is an emerging superstar who can where down anybody with his quickness and energetic style, is the best mid-range jump shooter in the game, and is developing a three point shot. Chauncey is an erratic shooter who's still learnig to be an "old shool" point guard, but when he gets hot he is deadly. Tayshaun has the arm span of a 7 footer, plays great defense, and can shoot from anywhere. The Piston's bench is clearly better than the Laker's, going five deep with "Memo", Campbell, Williamson, James and Hunter. Larry Brown is the best caoach never to win a championship (I'd like to see the Zen master do as well as Larry's done over the years with the same talent).
-The Piston's won't fall for the "Haq a Shaq" bait. Larry Brown is smarter than that. He knows it doesn't work. The Piston's all year have found a way of playing to the level of their competition. Their offense will not be nearly as anemic against the Laker's as it was against the more defensive minded teams from the east. Heart, determination, hardwork, and teamwork do mean something.
- Look for this to go seven tough, bruising, low scoring games, but in the end LA will win because of the edge in talent (primarily Shaq and Kobe). This will not be the last finals appearance for this Piston's team however. If they make the right off-season moves (which Joe Dumars has done consistently since taking over as GM of the Piston's) they will be back there next year, and they will win it.
&nb
Some dude from ESPN.com stole my "Pistons have been hiding Darko all year" idea...
You know what pistons play real basketball sure they dont got no superstars or hall of famers but dat dont matter the pistons have a better well rounded basketball team and guess what they did the ass whuppin this series Lakers just couldnt keep up with the fast tempo of da series now The PISTONS r back on top where they belong!!!!!!!
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