Tuesday, June 22, 2004

and then there were Four...

   Here we are...the Fearsome Foursome. The field has been narrowed. I'd like to give some love to 8s All Around and Rob's Ramblings. I thought both had an excellent shot at winning, and should be on the A List when AOL does their next Journal contest- sports themed or otherwise.

   Wes, Diecast, and Joc have joined your favorite Smurf in the Fatal Four Way of Blogging. I used to call a girl a tramp if she took on 3 men, but just look at the odds I face. It doesn't matter. Ye, although I walk in the Shadow, yet I fear no Evil...because I run the Valley.

   The fan in me is naturally inclined to handicap the field. AOL, by design or not, has an interesting Final Four. They have Diecast, who is a Specialist. The man knows his NASCAR. We have Wes, who covers a lot of ground, and seems like a really decent person. We have Jocular, who has his finger on the pulse of the frustrated sports fan- a huge demographic in this contest. All are splendid writers, and all will draw votes in blocs when the voting is turned over to the People.

   I see Diecast absolutely owning the Southern vote. He is a Voice To Be Heard when NASCAR is being discussed, and any voter south of Maryland will be a kindred spirit to him. If this were an election, he'd carry the Southern states, and draw in the rest of the US racing crowd as well. He's the George Wallace of the Journal Contest...in a non-blocking-the-door-of-the-school sort of way. The fact that he's from Oakland makes no difference at all- he could walk into a Texas bar and people would listen.

   The best I could do regarding NASCAR was imagining if Richard Petty and the Intimidator had a sled race- a reference that few Georgians will be able to visualize. Joc and I are New Englanders (I refuse to refer to myself as a "Yankee"), and Wes seems a little Californish- although he may exude a Mid-Western charm that Northerners like myself just don't pick up on. If not, Diecast rolls over us all in 15 states.

   No one wants to face Diecast in the Finals, I can assure you.

   Wes touches a lot of topics. He may be the best technical writer of us all. His Journal is put together well. He has a pretty interesting life going, and he may end up famous one day.

   He's also a paradox. He comes off as being a rather decent person, but he has the Sports Fiend raging beneath the exterior. I'm kinda sorta sure he's felt guilty happiness as an opposing team's best player went on the IR before playing his favorite team....and then gone out and fed homeless people, or something.

   That's a Yin Yang thing, it's impossible to fake, and it should bring him a ton of votes from the Proletariat. 

   He also has an insightful name for his Journal, while:

A) mine is a tribute to a semi-obscure, parochial, long-dead radio personality, and a 4:20 reference.

B) Premature Jocularity sounds like something you leave a husband over.

C) I have absolutely no idea what Diecast refers to.

   Wes is also cute, in a non-threatening Sitcom sort of way, and he will carry the female vote.

   This leads us to DP. I like his Blog. It's where I get my Pawtucket fix. DP is obviously an expert. He's that dude you know who can speak at length about how the Red Sox' 20th round draft pick is doing at SW Idaho state. Like another Blog I enjoy- Sportz Assassin- DP is a guy that I wish I had a Batphone direct line to when I write my posts. Sports fans will pick up on this, and will vote in droves for him.

   DP and I are both New Englanders. While I can't say this for sure, I do feel that one of us won't make the Finals. Monponsett isn't far from Rhode Island, and the chances that the two best Sports Journals on AOL are both crafted within an hour of the Foxy Lady in Providence are very slim, indeed.

   I have a few advantages that the others lack. I can flirt with the judges. I can do a few posts in French and Portuguese and draw the European/Brazilian/Canadian vote. I can show leg in my photo. I also have a Machiavellian streak that comes in handy in any form of competition.

   I have a verbal agreement with the People Who Vote For The Girl bloc, as long as my photo hides my nose. I could also get my students involved, but I teach at a pretty rough school. I wouldn't want Diecast to turn up missing, if you know what I mean.

   I also have a writing style that turns a lot of people off. This will hurt me when the vote goes to the public. Diecast has a Bible quote in his profile. I have "profanity" in 3 or 4 (hundred)of my posts. DP used his forum to say "Happy Father's Day." I used my forum to finagle a free dinner out of the Sun Tavern in Duxbury. Wes posted links  to help inner-city kids learn baseball, while I posted a link to a site that lets you bet on the next Korean War. I almost deserve to lose.

  But I won't.

  I plan on rolling to Houston like Zachary Taylor. I will wrap my foes in a cocoon of horror. I am all about coming out of the scrap with the most scalps. This is but the first step on my path to world dominance. I plan on bringing the High Heat, and I own the inside of the plate.

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

Well...I live in the South and you've got my vote! I want to see you kick these guy's butts! I, myself, am a HUGE football fan; have been for years. And I'm sick to death of guys thinking that just because I'm female that I don't know what I'm talking about. Please...I taught my ex-hubby everything he knows about the game!
Go Stacey!!!!!

Anonymous said...

The cool part....her ex was Bill Walsh.

I love the South, by the way. If I ever get rich-rich, I'd like some Carolina beachfront property. I have always enjoyed watching coastal storms, and if high ground exists, I plan to build on it. The accent would sound terrible from me, though...it's tough to drawl when you are trained not to pronounce "R" sounds.

Anonymous said...

You know that secret agent you sent out here to distract me? Well she was all flirty with some numbnuts guy in our cast last night, barely acknowledged me. Looks like you picked the wrong agent to send. I'm swearing off women until the end of this one baby! (That's what I'm telling myself anyhow.) However, if you have a 5'9" blonde in your stable of spies, I'd be willing to devote an entry to socks or something in exchange.
- Solo

Anonymous said...

All part of the plan, my friend....

Anonymous said...

Your "Bill Walsh" comment cracked me up. I can only WISH I had that kind of knowledge.
Kelly

Anonymous said...

Someone asked Bum Phillips why he brought his wife on raod games. He replied: "Because she's too ugly to kiss goodbye."

Anonymous said...

Well you're darn sure the cutest and with your acknowledgement of the South, and delicious writing style -you're IN gal!

Anonymous said...

Good quote about the South, by James Longstreet:

"Eccentricity is a good thing in a general...helps with the newspapers...and women, too. Southern women like their men religious, and a bit mad. That's why they fall for preachers."