The Olympics started tonight. Don't expect much coverage from me- I watched the Celtics tonight. Still, some people live for the stuff... and I write for You as well as Me.
Admit it... you watch the Olympics for the following reasons:
- Most figure skaters are pretty, and someone decided to put them in dresses that would shame a prostitute.
- You might get to see some goofy Austrian guy fall down the side of a mountain
- There's a chance that one of those Luges may come out of the track and decapitate a bunch of French people
- Those pretty figure skaters from the first reason? Sometimes, they attack each other with lead pipes.
- You can host furious debates over the sexual orientation of that figure skating guy.
Look at it this way. The hockey games have no fights. I'd rather watch The Weather Channel than what is no doubt the antithesis of Old Time Hockey... and to be honest, hockey is probably the only sport I'll watch with any interest.
They also don't have football. REAL football. Snowboarding is in the Olympics, as is Curling... BUT NO FOOTBALL. I've lived in both the United States of Ass-Kicking America and Surrendering France, and the reason France loses all those wars- and why big, bad, Germany falls to pieces once we go Over There- is that we have Football, and they don't.
The sad part... I bet the Russians and Germans would be good at it in a generation or two if they got into it. I would imagine that an American team could throw long on every play against a European team, and maybe score 200 points.
America wins an event now and then, but we're not as Alpine Oriented a country. This is sort of how Europeans restore their pride after we went in there and turned around all those World Wars and Tour De Frances of theirs. Americans win the Kid Sports, like Snowboarding and Ski Dancing.
Snowboarding kind of snuck up on me, and it seems like more of a fad than an Olympic sport. If whoever put Snowboarding into the Olympics were running things in 1986, we'd probably have Ultimate Frisbee and Hacky Sack in the Olympics now.
There will also not be a lot of brothers in these here games. I'm sure we have a few somewhere- I bet he's the one they make push everybody else at the start of the Team Bobsled race, like that s**t they ran on my man Herschel a few Olympiads back. Still, this will be the whitest sports event since the game before Jackie Robinson started playing for the Dodgers.
So anywhooo... check out the Road to Torino blog if you want to know what's up. I'll come back to this subject if a figure skater is beaten.
2 comments:
Dear Smurfette,
ha Ha! I gotta' admit yuo have something going on about the ice skaters! hehe
Theyare also good skaters but when you watch the men watching them..well you know:)
I think it is funny that you think we watch it to see a French person get creamed by a luge! Ah Petite Chou Smurfette! lol! hehe
And then the littel skater with the pipe very creative!
The comment about the ice hockey team not being able to pulverize each other enough for Smurfette is very interesting..( did she say "blood sport"?)humm?:):)
And then that football comment ! Petite Chou!um would Paris approve?
Will Verasilles meet New York in teh lock rooms??? tune in to Smurfette! love adn hugs, natalie
ps so yeah , Bea wrote about it, I fell over John's entry nd I was LIke:"They're here!They've landed!" lol and psychfunwas supposed to watch too! toodle oo!
My parents used to call me that, although it had no effect on me choosing this screen name.
For those of you who speak no French, that means "my little cabbage," and is a term of endearment in France.
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