Monday, April 25, 2005

The Duel of the Tall


   Some people do series previews. Not me. I'm a teacher, and I prefer mid-term progress reports. Never buy the corn until it grows, as they say in farm country.  

   The NBA Playoffs are in full swing, so we may as well see who is messing with who:

EAST


Boston-Indiana

   Boston took game one by sh***ng on the Pace so hard, they had to get out the plunger after. Indy came back to win a tight one in Game 2. Boston is a young team (take away Payton, and Reggie is older than everyone on the Celtics combined), and they are capable of such things. This one could go the distance, and that home court advantage thing seems to be working out for the leprechaun. If Artest fought Wallace instead of everyone else in Detroit, Indy would have home court.

   If Pierce/Walker/Davis outscore Miller/Jackson/Jerm, Boston takes it. If Jerm starts abusing Walker inside, Boston will be lucky to take 2 games.


Detroit-Philly

   Think there'll be a fight in this series? Hell, Allen Iverson just might go to the locker room....then come back out and shoot someone. It may not be safe in the arena....even in the Heavens, because Mr. Iverson may let off a warning shot or two. This is why they invented cable.

   I had Ben Wallace's hairdo once. While I don't like to reveal too many personal details in this forum, let me just suggest that you never try to turn off a lightswitch with the wine glass hand in an old New England farmhouse.

   Detroit won the title last year, improved their bench this year, and seem to be peaking at the right time. They look to be a good bet to steamroll over anyone short of the Diesel.



Miami-Jersey-

   New Jersey already had a little playoff series just making the playoffs, and they look as spent as an empty purse. Vinsanity better start throwing in 45 a game every night now, because the Daddy is a good bet to shoot 12-16 every time out against Nened Kristic.

   Richard Jefferson has made a comeback that should get a surgery named after him (a la "Tommy John surgery"). Jason Kidd must find Jersey more tolerable now. If they can put someone serious in the middle, they can make some noise next year.

   Depending on how things shake out, either Wade or Jefferson will have lost 2 playoff series and the Olympics in the last15 months or so. I will then blame that person for the disgrace of Athens, and then purge it from my memory.



Washington-Chicago

   Two young teams. Ol' Antonio Davis looks like a guy with 4 really tall sons out there. Eddie Curry's wurries and the poor Harley skills of Jay Williams are all that is keeping this from being a 1986-style nine-man-deep team out there.

   Washington has a tweener PF against a team with sizeSizeSIZE in the frontcourt, although a Kwamification is long overdue from Brown. Chicago has a more balanced attack, but if the Large Three from DC all have good games at the same time, few squads can score with them.

    Larry Hughes has been with so many teams, he was actually traded for himself by Golden State in 2001. I may be wrong here, but Jamison- a prime talent- has been on 4 teams in 3 calendar years. Had he entered the NBA as a high schooler, he could lap the entire league by 2018 at this rate.

   The next time you see Kwame working in the post against Tyson Chandler in this playoff series, keep in mind that this is exactly what their teams had in mind when drafting them a rookie deal ago. They are the Upper Middle Class of high school early entrants, and the learning scale looks like about 3 years or so. When this season ends, at least one of them will have gone two rounds deep in the playoffs...and each have about 10-15 good years ahead of them.




WEST

San Antonio-Denvahhh

   Denver took game one, and Tim Duncan is simply not 100%. Denver- like Detroit- is on a roll. Don't you just want to hug Earl Boykins? OK, maybe some of you don't....but the man is a Funk Smurf.

   Denver is led by Carmello, who was still getting benched as recently as a month ago. K-Mart is a beast, although I think he goes 22-10 over a full season only if the NBA expands to 40 teams. Marcus Camby has been injured while watching someone else get injured. Still, they fast break like an avalanche, and I'd pity any team that had to go into theRockies down0-2.

   San Antonio has been there, and won't fall apart in fear when they fall behind in a series. It's an easy series to call. If Duncan isn't able to do his thing, they won't get by the Nug.



Memphis-Phoenix

   Memphis is led by 3 white guys, which should tell you all you need to know. It may be Walter McCarty time early and often in what looks to be a 4 game spanking.



Seattle-The Sac

Mike Bibby highlighted a 1-16 or so of a night with the ugliest air ball I done ever seen. The man very nearly missed the floor. This series is the cultural and geographical opposite of the Houston/Dallas series.



Dallas-Houston


"Houston is a cruel and crazy town on a filthy river in East Texas with no zoning laws and a culture of sex, money and violence. It's a shabby sprawling metropolis ruled by brazen women, crooked cops and super-rich pansexual cowboys who live by the code of the West -- which can mean just about anything you need it to mean, in a pinch."

   I loved Houston. Every time I sat down, someone would run over and give me a bottled water. At the mall with the rink, some Tupac-looking kid- who was trying to be polite- threatened to shoot someone who wasn't getting out of my way fast enough.

  The NBA was no sure thing for a few decades, and I doubt that George mikan ever imagined a two Texas teams would be going at it in an international league.....let alone teams led by a German and a 7'6" Chinese guy....and the Dallas team sure could use the Canadian they let get away last summer.

2 comments:

nclrbrt said...

RE: Celts
If Twan had the balls that Kevin McHale had the Celts could go a long way.  He just doesn't seem to have the heart to get inside and bang with the big boys.  
For pity's sake, he's freakin' 6/10 and BIG.  He ought to be able to dominate the boards!  And he also needs to learn that 8 for 14 with two 3's is worth more than
5 for 14, even if they're all 3's.  I just don't think he's ever played up to his talent.
At least Ricky Davis finally seems to have figured it out.  That kid can do a lot of sh*t.  As an aside, why can't anybody in the NBA shoot the ball on a consistent basis any more?  Go Celts!

cneinhorn said...

Go East! LOL...not much to add here great recap stacy!

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