Thursday, April 21, 2005

Time Wasters


   We here at High Above Courtside strive to be cutting edge. We also exist to give the people what they want. And what they want is to be entertained. They want to not only read High Above Courtside, they want to interact with it.

   While my interest in reciprocal interaction varies from reader to reader, I still aim to please. So...

   Here's some fun stuff that came to my attention via my friends in the Blogosphere:....

A Rose By Any Other Name....

- from Mr. Irrelevant's blog, I give to you the "Ron Mexico Name Generator"

   Micheal Vick felt a burning sensation when he urinated, so he made up a fake name and went down to the clinic to get a shot. Things happened, and "Ron Mexico" turned up in the papers.

   The name generator turned me into "Ariana Tunisia," which is tolerable. My husband became "Peter Qatar." Gabrielle and Melissa became "Linda Serbia" and "Mercedes Tajikistan." My sister Shea became "Missy Angola."

   Other fun "change your name" tricks include:

The Action Hero Name

..............take your middle name (preferably shortened to one syllable) and add onto it the name of a rock/mineral/metal.

   I learned this from MST3000, where one of the robots ended up being, "Vic Tungsten." I may or may not be "Anastasia Adamantium," depending on which name I use.

The Porn Star Name

........take the name of your cat as a first name, and match it up to the name of the street you grew up on. This came from the Howard Stern show.

   I couldn't get a job in a Bukaki film with "Sloppy Ocean" as a name, but my friend Tammy was able to generate the much more marketable "Misty Lake."


The NFL Mock Draft on AOL

   What does Mel Kiper know? Trust me....real NFL types goof on him all the time. Ever think you could do better than Mel, Al Davis, Coach Belichick and the gang? Step up to the NFL Mock Draft. If you get the draft order right, you win......absolutely nothing!

   I have this one on favorites, but my instincts are telling me to get high before I try my hand at GM duties. I do better in the smoke-filled room environment particular to NFL War Rooms.

   Besides....people tend to hop up and down  on draft boards, and what looks like a given on Thursday quickly becomes nonsense by Friday. I can wait.

   If I missed something, and you absolutely must have the million dollar award AOL is offering....try to play as close to the deadline as possible.

   I did this stoned last year, and I kept choosing Ricky Williams and Priest Holmes a lot.


Natalie Portman is prettier than I am....but I can kick her ass

   Ever wonder how your wife would fare against the hot neighbor down the road if things got fistic? Has the subjext of your girlfriend having a kickboxing match against Katie Couric ever come up? Do you just want to know how you'd hold up against Jennifer Aniston if you were both fighting over Brad Pitt?

   Wonder no more....and behold the Catfight Simulator:

   Now.....send the kids off before you try this one....catfights are rarely PC, and the stakes are pretty high in this one. NC-17 may be too easy on this site.

   In case you're wondering...I beat Couric, and lost to Aniston. Damn Greeks.

   Update: Tammy scored an impressive victory over Courtney Love via the dreaded Camel Clutch.

   Another Update: Jennifer Aniston and I now share a cottage in Provincetown.


20 Questions

   This machine can guess what you are thinking about by asking you less than 20 Qs.

   I lost to it using "turtle," "printer," and "Bong," but I scored victories using "Wolverine (one of my students gave me a Wolverine doll as a present when he graduated, and old Logan does a mighty fine job of policing my bookshelf), "a globe," and, ironically, a worksheet with John Henry on it. can't be tricked into finding the car keys you lost. I tried.



andreakingme said...

Hey, monsponsett, I just have to say what a hoot you are. I'm not much into sports, but I enjoy a good sense of humor and someone who knows how to write. I've read your Journal from time to time and I've seen your comments at Scalzi's. What a sense of humor! (Pass the bong, would you?)

monponsett said...

Thank you for the kind words.