Thursday, November 3, 2005

Why Women Rear The Young

Oh, the things I get in my email....

How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened when she brings it.
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Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be
able to support you.
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Why do women have smaller feet than men?
It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows
them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.
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How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
When she starts a sentence with "A man once told me..."
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How do you fix a woman's watch?
You don't. There is a clock on the oven.

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If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front
door, who do you let in first?
The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
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What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
A woman who won't do what she's told.
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I married a Miss Right.
I just didn't know her first name was Always.
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Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes
a woman's sex drive by 90%.
It's called a Wedding Cake.
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Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.
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Women will never be equal to men until they can
walk down the street with a bald head and a beer
gut, and still think they are sexy.
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In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.
Then God created Man and rested.
Then God created Woman.
Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Oh I especially like the next to the last one!  We have a neighbor like that.  He must think he's sexy because he never wears a shirt, and we get treated with that sight **shudder** for 10 months out of the year!
Lori

Anonymous said...

I can't help myself .... I am lauging like a fool at that 'treadmill mishap' ya got there on the sidebar.  Why is it so funny to see somebody fall?  Makes me feel guilty for laughing, but ...... HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA     Tina http://journals.aol.com/onemoretina/Ridealongwithme