Bad News Barnes

BostonHerald.com - Boston Celtics: Barnes comes off bench with claims

  Red Auerbach had his victory cigar, and Marvin Barnes had his fat nostril duel with the Peruvian Light Infantry while sitting on the same bench that Bill Russell once graced (it was the same bench, too... the Boston Garden was a truly nasty building, and I miss it dearly).

   Now, your humble Smurf has nothing against the occasional schniggedy-schnoutful of the White Man's Burden... but when you are banging down what I'd gather were huge snorts of Tony Yayo with your head under a towel (as about 4000 children watched), it may be time for some lengthy introspection.

   Marvin "Bad News" Barnes was a bit before my time, but he's that kind of ugly story you find when you poke around in the NBA's 1970s era. This was the post Wilt/Russell yet pre Larry/Magic days, and the big names were Dr. J, Havlicek, Maravich, Kareem, etc... The NBA was a weak sell.

   Boston was in sad shape at the end of the 1970s. After Havlicek retired, the franchise was ass-out ugly.The Celtics were sold a few times- at different times, it was run by a Florida land baron and a chicken salesman- and a mammoth trade swapped half of the Celtics with half of the Buffalo/soon-to-be San Diego/ then Los Angeles Braves-Clippers.

   Things worked out well enough eventually, as Red Auerbach stole Larry Bird  and some trades/drafts worked out... but at the end of the 1970s, the Boston bench was the kind of place from where a man just might have to salute Colombia.

   Boston was Valhalla compared to the ship of destruction that was the sad life of Marvin Barnes. Who ever hung the "Bad News" nickname on Barnes must have had a direct male bloodline descent from Nostadamus, because he was one of an effing kind. Tremendous bio, too:

Marvin Barnes - Spirits of St. Louis - Players

   DP could tell you better than I could, but Barnes was a smooth 6'9" forward who had been on a splendid Providence team that almost brought the NCAA baby home to that nasty little city in Rhode I-land. He went into the ABA, and tore the league apart... except when he didn't show up to games, or when he turned up at a pool hall after being missing for a few weeks.

  The best News story I know (from either David Halberstam or Frank Powers) involves Barnes sleeping through a team flight. They called him to tell him he was going to miss the flight. "News will catch a later flight," he said.

   About 5 minutes before tipoff, Barnes shows up. He's dressed in his uniform, and wearing a full-length mink coat. He's also polishing off a Big Mac and fries. "Have no fear... Bad News is here."

   He scored 44 that night, they say.... and had chartered a plane to make the game. He was probably out of basketball 4 years later.

   Marvin had signed a huge contract, but that money is long gone, now. He made several non-refundable investments in Bolivian agricultural interests, and his release from the Clippers (his final shot was an airball) actually led to a small recession in Peru.

   Drugs are fun, kids.... but- as with anything you do in life- moderation is the key. Marvin certainly had the finances to be in a Newport mansion right now, instead of working for a Providence do-gooder foundation.

   Speaking of which, check it out... The Rebound Foundation is a nice bunch of folks.

 

The Rebound Foundation

 

 

   Iowa residents would know better than I, but one would assume that there comes a time- most likely a time that includes the period when the tornado is actually in your yard- that you'd better get into the basement.

   This time varies greatly from person to person, and especially so when one of those people is myself and the other is this sick eff who got this video:

CNN Daily News Clips :Amateur Tornado Video

   It's Iowastanding!