"I make you humble"

 

Sacre Bleu, I'm wide awake in the middle of the night! I can't even blame Cocaine for this, as the heaviest thing I got into last night was a Pepsi. I was still in bed at 9;30.

Part of it is the no-work thing. I'm used to being a full-time student with at least one job, often two or three. I tend to wake up feeling behind, just long enough that I can't get back to sleep once I realize I'm retired.

As high-stakes as Mothering is, I actually don't view it as a job. I totally enjoy hanging out with the girls, and I'll miss Gabrielle once she starts school. Even my two year old is fun, which gets me a lot of raised eyebrows when I say it among other moms. The downside is that they wear me out, I go to bed at 9, and wake up at 3 AM.

May as well get some work done... some mid-week video fun for you all.

YouTube - WC Crip Walk

I'm not sure that he does it right, but French housewives don't overrule rappers when How To Crip Walk is being discussed, regardless of how long she taught at whatever ghetto. Things are best left that way.

Walter? Please get back in your seat... you can practice the Crip Walk later. We're just warming up, here.

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Hopping fom culture to culture.... we've had mention here at CCToday concerning our lack of Gyro Ball media. That will not be allowed to continue. For those of you not in the know, the Gyro Ball is the ace-in-the-hole pitch that our new Japanese hurler uses, a sort of mystical converse breaking slider that looks sort of like this:

YouTube - DICE-K GYRO-BALL

Oooops... wrong one. I meant... THIS: YouTube - Matsuzaka Famous Gyro Ball in Japan

Dice looked good the other night, but I'm sort of hoping that he rounds into form when the weather gets more Japanese as summer nears. I'm thinking that he requires mid-summer humidity to make the Gyro work, and may not even be aware of this fact himself. I'm rooting for a 6-0 July with 54 strikeouts.

My sources tell me that Clemens was balls-out in his first pitching session, so we'll need the little SOB to get it together.

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Working our way west from Japan, here's a bit of female professional wrestling from Israel.

 YouTube - Makkat Medina: Israeli Satiric Wrestling

Now. my Yiddish isn't that sharp, but I speak the international language of Wrestling well enough that I can explain what's happening here. You have your basic evil Schoolteacher character fighting what seems to be a combination of a Farmer's Daughter and a Cheerleader character. 'Happens all the time.

Cheerleader Inga from the kibbutz is a regular Jill of all trades... but Master of none, because she got her ass handed to her. She takes a nice leg sweep (Israeli girls all serve time in the IDF, and even schoolmarms pick up such tactics) and absorbs a finishing move that seems to knock her out by slamming her on her own keister.

Here's what I learned watching this:

- I'm not sure what the teacher said before the fight, but I know it wasn't good.

- Never go for the flying elbow if your opponent is still conscious enough to be fixing her hair as she lays before you.

- Kibbutz farm girls usually have cheerleader outfits on under their work clothes.

- It's not anti-Semitic if I root against the Israeli Cheerleader, because I'm rooting for the Israeli Schoolteacher. We teachers stick together, you see... like slightly less dangerous cops. Besides, the Israeli cheerleader seems to lapse into English here and there when she's making her speech.

- "Za onish" means "It's over." If it doesn't, it should.

But that's not the best central Asian professional wrestling action we have.

YouTube - Iron Sheik goes nuts

The Iron Sheik- who is actually really from Iran, and competed for their Olympic team- does a shoot interview for a Boston wrestling show.

Some background.... the Sheik left Iran when the Shah fell, but was able to parlay his heritage into a good Villain role for the WWF during the hostage crisis. An actual wrestler, and generally regarded as one of the stronger men in wrestling, the Iron Sheik was the man Hulk Hogan had to beat to become famous.

The Sheik also coached our team in Munich, and the Black September people would have just knocked on the next door had only the Sheik been visiting the Israeli team that fateful morning.

None of that really matters here, though. This is a drunken guy with a taste for cocaine, bad-mouthing his former co-workers on a cable TV show in heavily-Persian-accented English. There will be some Profanity issues for some of our nicer readers if they watch this clip. The Sheik threatens to break people's backs and sodomize them, though he doesn't phrase it as delicately as I do.

Drunken Iron Sheik interviews are a You Tube staple, but I'd be amazed if there's one out there as awful as this one... although this one is close... YouTube - Iron Sheik praises intelligent Jews.

Old timers will appreciate the Classy Freddie Blassie cameo, and wrestling scholars will note that the Iron Sheik may have been the one to invent the term "Jabroni."

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My favorite Christian Children's Heavy Metal Band.. YouTube - Trampled Underfoot Practice Session. They need a drummer, but God Shall Provide.

They're not named after YouTube - Trampled Under Foot by Led Zeppelin (Page rules, incidentally). While I didn't ask, I'm assuming that they are named after "Jerusalem shall be trampled under foot by the Gentiles," which is Jesus speaking in Luke 21-24b. Many Christians see this as Jesus calling the re-taking of Jerusalem by the Israeli Satiric Wrestling League in the Six Day War of 1967.

Either that, or it's Orwell... referring to the Oceania/Eastasia throwdown. "There was a riotous interlude while posters were ripped from the walls, banners torn to shreds and trampled underfoot." They spell their band like the Orwell line.

I was gonna ask, in the band's comment section... but I had to know about the lack of a drummer, first.