"To all my friennnnnnnnds..."

A few notes on my immediate future...

 The NBA Draft Lottery is tomorrow night. The Celtics will have their future dictated to them by a tumbler full of ping-pong balls. They have the second-most ping pong balls in the tumbler, and have about a 20% chance of getting the first overall pick.

#1 gets them Gerg Oden, a hulk of a center who pretty much hands us the NBA Atlantic Division. Pick #2 gets them Kevin Durant, who would add 20 wins to the club's total from last year.

After that, there is a huge talent drop-off. Imagine thinking that you have a date with Rose McGowan. Imagine that instead, when you show up, it's Rosie O'Donnell. That's the difference between pick 2 and pick 3.

I love my Celtics. I watched them with my father, when I was a kid. We usually beat the hell out of whoever we played, and watching them was an exercise in Satisfaction. I loved every game, and looked forward to the next one.

I also looked forward to watching the Celtics with my kids.. but that went out the window when the team started to really blow. No need to have Gabrielle hearing me yell "Goddamn Doc Rivers!" or "Danny Ainge must have pictures of the owner raping a Cub Scout... it's the only way I can see him keeping his job." So Gabby is usually off in bed by game time.

Greg Oden wipes this problem off the table the moment he ambles into Boston. It's all wine and roses after that... or so it will seem tomorrow night when we get the #1 overall pick. Unless Danny Ainge messes it up somehow, but that's another article.

If we don't get Oden or Durant....

Well... I like to think positive. There are some fine players out there. Yu Zailing or something from China, supposed to be great. The three Florida kids look solid. Someone must be leaving Duke or UNC. We'll have to select someone, and we'll most likely still get a fine player.

Of course, I won't be aware of it. The moment we lose out on picks 1 and 2, I will retreat into a mute, insular phase that may last for several months. We lost the Tim Duncan lottery 10 years ago last week, and the Gods wouldn't be so cruel as to dangle the next franchise big man in front of my face before whisking him off to Memphis or Atlanta, would they?

We'll find out tomorrow.

I need to relax... which, to me, means watching someone else suffer. This is the funniest human/bear fight I've ever seen...YouTube - Guy gets his ass kicked by a bear.

There's no blood... it's a salmon commercial.

YouTube - Blind Cops -- Episode 1

YouTube - Chicken Suicide

YouTube - Maximum Security Workout

YouTube - Midget runs from cops

YouTube - Don't rob banks in Spain. this is why