Rejected Children's Book Titles

 

Cape Mom - What your kids WON'T be getting for Christmas this year

 

- How To Bully The Fat Kid

- Spy On Your Town's Muslims

- Why Britney Spears Is Rich And The World's Best Cellist Is Unknown

- Let's Eat Some Coins!

- Stealing Grandma's Pain Medication

- Harry Potter Gets Jumped In The Shower By The Drama Club Men

- Make Your Own Mescaline!

- Sis Went Crazy At College And Married A Black Guy

- Touch Me THERE!

- My First Meth Lab

- How To Dress So As To Draw Attention From Grown Men

- Your Friendly Old Neighbor, Mr. McFist

- Some Dogs Like Ecstacy

- Shoplifting For Kids

- Ann O'Rexic Is Already Too Fat

- How To Really Injure Someone In A Playground Fight

- Let's Make Anthrax!

- Phil Atio Pays Off His Gambling Debts

- That Foreign Student's Dad Took Your Dad's Job

- Father Ben Jahova and Timmy The Altar Boy

- Rodrigo Doesn't Seem To Have A Job, But He Has A New BMW And Is Out Half The Night

- Fat Albert And The Cosby Kids Expand Their Territory

- Make Way For Fresh Peking Duck At Fat Ho's In Chinatown

- Jimmy Wood Gets His First Stiffy

 

- Curious George Scratches Bad Kids And Gives Them Ebola

 

- God Doesn't Love You, So He Gave Your Mommy Cancer

 

-  Winnie the Pooh Finally Has Had Enough Of Christopher Robin

 

- Enforcing The New World Order Starts On The Playground

- Aquaman Teaches You How To Spot Gay Classmates

- Why You Shouldn't Touch Sara There

- What's In This Bottle? Making Your Own WMD Out Of Stuff In Your Own Home

- Old Men Will Pay Me To Flash Them?

- Trench Coat... Check. Death List... Check... Guns: A Disaffected Teen Guide To Acquiring Weaponry

- Charlie Brown's Angry New Friend, Yusaf

- Wally Gator Gets Really Hungry And Crawls Out Onto The Playground

 

- Goddamnit, I Think My Pokemon Is Gay

 

- Andy Capp Can't Remember What He Did Last Night,And His Wife Is Gone