And the Winner is.....

   One of the true joys of being an NFL fan is watching the pre-game shows. I particularly enjoy the FOX show. They don't do anything better than the CBS or ESPN shows, however.

   The FOX show simply has JB.

   I don't mean James Brown, either the soul icon or the burly Harvard guy. I don't mean John Brown, Jackson Browne, Jill Brown from the Weather Channel, John or Jim Belushi, a type of whiskey, Jorge Bush, Jim Brown, Bond, James Bond, Justine Bateman, John Bradshaw Leyfield, or a common term for fellatio when read by a dyslexic.

   No...we're talking about Jillian Barberie. Yes, Jillian won the HIGH ABOVE COURTSIDE best looking person in sports contest.

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http://journals.aol.com/monponsett/HighAboveCourtside/entries/675

   We here at High Above Courtside are all about making things as awesome as possible for an AOL user. The best way to do that is to simply give the people what they want. The best way to know what people want is to ask them, and your IMs, Emails and comments were enough to establish a Mandate.

   The people want Jillian Barberie.

   I am perhaps the foremost authority on matters like these. I am pretty much in step with what America wants. An interesting fact about me: I am America's Sweetheart, and, among average people, no one got more votes.

   Many elections were held this year. Bush and Kerry split 40 million or so votes, and pro sports All Stars get a lot. The WWE Divas, American Idol, internet polls and so forth....even more votes. All of those votes were cast for famous people.

    My AOL All Star Blogger victory was made possible, I think, by the most votes cast for a regular person in any kind of American election this year. Crazy, but demographically average. See that counter on this page, the one that tells you how many people have viewed this Blog? I have rolled that sucker over so many times that I hardly notice when it happens now.

   So when I tell you something, you should accept it with the blind faith of a stampeding herd of buffalo. Buffalo hunters used to herd buffalo towards a cliff...and while I know nothing of how to do it, they would collect thebuffs at the bottom of the cliff.

   Now, a buffalo isn't going to invent calculus or anything, but it won't just hurl itself off a cliff. But once a stampede starts, they just go with the rest of the herd. Stampedes aren't thought out, and it is actually easier to just lower your head and follow.

   I won't be leading you off a cliff with this one, let me tell you. Miss Barberie is friggin' molten. Serena got some votes, and Gabby Reece need not want for a date, but Jillian owns all the other sport lookers-male or female- like Massa.

   One day, I was listening to AOL Radio while I cooked supper. My sister asked me if she could use the computer to play video games. I told her to log off for me, and to go ahead. She was back in the kitchen in 5 seconds.

   "Ummm...you have, like, 15 IMs that say 'Jillian Barberie,' so I didn't log off."

    It's officially Jillian Barberie Day today, and she was in rare form. She dropped one of her stickers, and her outfit was so tight, she was incapable of bending down to pick it up. Terry Bradshaw made the save. She rewarded him by putting the Terry Bradshaw sticker that was meant to signify sunny weather in San Diego on the Oregon/California border...maybe 150 miles north of Sacramento. 

   If George Bush looked like her, we could invade Canada tomorrow, and no one would complain. In fact, they'd probably wonder why we waited so long to do so. Canada would not resist.

   Derek Jeter won for the men, but he got abolutely ZERO votes after the ALCS, and I was actually contacted by several people who wished to rescind their Jeter votes. His sex appeal suffered a tested Marion Jones-like drop in potency.

   Runner-up Randy Orton would probably take it if it went to the House of Representatives. He gets the pic: