Wednesday, September 29, 2004

National Day of Mourning

   Looks like God needed to have someone's ass kicked. He hath called home the Big Bossman.

   Bossman had a real name("Ray Traylor") and a family, but that would actually require research. The Big Bossman was cool enough that one doesn't have to research his life to get a fat story.

   He was an actual prison guard in Cobb County, Georgia. This is one of those rock-breakin' prisons, and I'm sure BB savaged a few guests of the state who weren't digging his hole fast enough. Bossman was 6'6", 315, barrel-chested, and he didn't need stuntmen to toss people around.

   His WWF career was full of family fun. Here's what I can remember:

- He used to handcuff people to the ropes, and then beat them on the kidneys with a tonfa. He referred to this as "questioning".

- He killed Al Snow's dog, and then fed it to him.

- He interrogated Paul Wight's widowed mother, and extracted the fact that Big Show was a bastard child. "Big Show...You're nothing but a nasty bastard, and you're momma told me so."

- He secretly tied a chain to Big Show's father's casket, and dragged it away during the funeral with a station wagon.

- He gave Terri Runnels away during one of the few non-violent wrestling weddings ever (see Kane/Lita or Test/Stephanie for further details).

- Was so mean that he was booed with a cop gimmick after 9/11

   Simply put, they don't make them like the Big Bossman anymore. He was no pretty boy on an abs workout. I'm sure he could eat 7 steaks in a sitting. He was so Old School, he had the keys. I've watched wrestling since I was a child, and I cannot recall seeing him ever use a technical move. He ruled.

   You will be missed, Big Man.

   Reposez-vous, parce que votre travail ici est fini.

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