Nor'easter Funk: Rulon the Roost

Wrestler Rulon Gardner continues his comeback. This is the dude who knocked off the fearsome Russian Alexander Karelin(undefeated from 1987-2000) in Sydney. He has to win tomorrow to advance, and he faces a guy I wouldn't touch with a six foot pole, Marek Milkowski or something...oh wait- he is a six foot Pole.

I have a certain affinity for Rulon, and it has nothing to do with wrestling, or the fact that we were both raised in rural environments. Rulon and I both share a distinct trait- we're accident prone.

I have broken an arm, a leg(twice), a thumb, and several thousand nails during my sporty days. I tore my ACL, which was more painful than childbirth. I got knocked out in a soccer game. I've been kicked in the stomach, and puked on the field afterwards. I've wrecked a car or two. I've even lost a few catfights. I look like the epitome of luck and grace next to Mr. Gardner, though.

While nursing a staph infection in 1996, Rulon discovered he was late for a weigh-in. He hustled down to the scales, but he was 22 seconds too late- a time he could have easily whittled if he wasn't limping.

In 2002, he drove his snowmobile into a snow covered lake. In Wyoming. It gets cold in Wyoming. He was out in that cold for 17 hours, and developed severe frostbite (read "To Build A Fire" by Jack London if you ever want a good shiver-based shiver....link provided at end of article) on/in his toes. He had to have one amputated, which causes balance problems- especially in wrestling. That was just the start.

In 2004, he drove his motorcycle into a car(wrestlers never tend to be the smarterest), while he wasn't wearing a helmet. He credits a wrestling move- the front dive roll- with saving his bacon. He walked away with cuts and bruises.

Then, he heard I was pregnant, and he rushed to injure himself and keep the title of Gold Medal Clutz. He proceeded to dislocate his wrist playing basketball(keep working, kid...that's the sport I tore the ACL playing). None of the above are keeping him from Athens, though.

Gotta love the attitude. This may be the one man in the world who is safer fighting 300 pound Russians than he is when relaxing at home. He could hurt himself meditating.