Great Sports Fights

  Some people get all bummed out over the fights, but I love 'em. Maybe I'm making do with the NHL and MLB until televised executions and deathmatches come along, but that's my own problem.

   The evils of fighting are over-rated. Fights are cathartic. They are high drama. Fights lower the incidence of more dangerous sports stuff, like beanballs and high sticking. Fights teach kids valuable lessons concerning the consequence of their actions. They also....well, OK, I'm depraved. 

   That said, there's nothing like a good fight. Even before sports, Americans were killing Sioux, lynching blacks, savaging union strikers, and having gunfights in the street. Once the western frontier was closed, and the good parts of Mexico were stolen("You took the half with the roads" said a Mexican ambassador to the US), we fought Cuba, and annexed the Phillipines.

   I'm not alone. Americans, by nature, enjoy violence. This is a country that won't allow someone to make tender love to their wife on camera....but the next night, they show the California governor killing people by the boatload in one of his corny action movies. Arnold gets $20 million a film....I wonder what Alan Alda asks for when/if someone calls him?

   Is Hollywood trying to turn us into animals? Hell no. They just pay for what sells best...and what sells best is Rambo killing 300 Laotians.

   Professional wrestling is wayyyyyyyyy more violent now than it was when Bruno Sammartino and Ivan Koloff were doing their thing. It isn't that unusual to see a match these days that features no technical wrestling at all...instead, 2 big steroid freaks in bikini briefs just beat the s*** out of each other with steel chairs, chains, tables and...a month or so back, a tranquilizer gun. I love the WWE, and I've seen someone run over in a limo, tossed off a Detroit bridge, shocked in the testicles with a cattle prod, and dozens of other felonious offenses.

   When ECW was solvent, you could add things like staple guns to the head, bamboo stick beatings (administered by a guy who drank 6-10 beers as he made his way to the ring), swan dives off 40 foot balconies, and fire brandished as a weapon. #2 tries harder. You can't show a wrestling match with 2 fat guys trading arm bars....you need to kick it up a notch...BAM!

   I'm sure that plenty of GOOD stuff happened Friday night, but the Artest fight took all the TV time from the doctor who works for free with ghetto kids, or the firefighter who spends all his free time hustling up goods for Toys For Tots. Again...ESPN isn't evil...they just give Americans what they want to see.....and what we want to see is televised violence.

   Once you come to grips with your Inner Beast, you are better equipped to look at fighting as a unique component of American culture. And once you go there, you may as well list a few of your favorites....here's what I could find, in no particular order:

PLEASE FEEL FREE TO ADD YOUR FAVE FIGHTS TO THE COMMENTS SECTION.....I LIKE LINKS< TOO

 

- Robin "The Body" Ventura makes the mistake of charging the mound Nolan Ryan stands on. Ventura is then beaten by a man who pitched to Willie Mays.

-  O's-Yankees, summer of '97 (i think), armando plunked tino, strawberry runs onto the field and clocks armando, arthur rhodes nailed strawberry, bj surhoff proved he's not a man to be trifled with...thanks, Jamie

-  Kyle Turley, defending a team mate, twists a helmet off the head of a player and hurls it into the stands. He looked like a Norse God of War...or Sleepy Hollow in a steroid rush.

-  Juan Marichal hit a player (Johnny Roseboro) with a bat.

- Larry Bird and Julius Erving grab each other by the throat.

- George Bell charges the mound and launches a thrust kick at the pitcher.

- I forget who it was, but some batter- upset by a beaning- took the strategic step of attacking the catcher who inevitably would have tackled him before he got to the pitcher.

- Kermit Washington, while fighting Kevin Kunnert, turns and whallops current Laker coach Rudy Tomjanovich, who was attacking him from behind. Rudy is nearly killed. Kareem, who was nearby, said the punch sounded like a watermelon being dropped from a 3rd story window onto concrete.

- Cam Neely savages Ulf Samuelson(sic?), who had ruined his hip with a cheap shot a few years prior.

- Bill Laimbeer fouls Larry Bird, who jumps on him and pounds him like veal. It may or may not be the same series, but I saw Robert Parish chop Laimbeer down with three lumberjack shots.

- Umpire George Moriarity fights 3 Chicago White Sox players in 1932. He KOs one, but is beaten by the other three.

- Ohio State guard Luke Witte is attacked by several Minnesota players after he is fouled on a layup attempt. Minnesota fans boo him as he is taken off the court in a stretcher.

- 1981: The Minnesota North Stars, 0-27-7 lifetime at the Boston Gaaaaahden, hold a big grudge against the Bruins. The first fight happens seven seconds into the game. By the end of the first period, there are 341 penalty minutes and 12 ejections. By the time the game is over, there are 42 penalties, including seven game misconducts, and 406 total penalty minutes. Afterwards, coaches Glen Sonmor and Gerry Cheevers almost come to blows.

1994: John Chaney vs. John Calipari. Chaney, the Temple coach, charges into UMass coach Calipari's press conference after a game and has to be restrained while screaming, "I WILL KILL YOU!!"

Kansas football player Dion Rayford gets stuck in a Taco Bell drive-thru window when he tries to attack employees who left the chalupa out of his order.

In 1972, Providence forward Marvin "Bad News" Barnes hits Larry Ketvirtis with a tire iron.

In the 1972 ALCS, Bert Campeneris flung his bat at the pitcher after a brushback pitch.

Pete Rose and Buddy Harrelson fight during the 1973 NLCS. Amazingly, Rose and Harrelson went out to dinner together, afterwards.

Pedro Martinez throws 107 year old coach Don Zimmer to the ground in the 2003 ALCS.

Ozzie Smith takes exception to a hard slide by Will Clark. This fight eventually features Candy Moldanado, Jose Ocquendo, and both benches.

Pudge Fisk, in a two tear span, fought both Thurman Munson and Lou Pinella. Bill Lee gets his collarbone broken.

 

Daryl Straberry and Kieth Hernandez trade hands during spring training.

Andre Tippett, a karate instructor who was a registered deadly weapon in the state of Massachusetts, gets jumped by Pats kicker Tony Franklin and punter Rich Camarillo, who he had been drinking with. He beats them like recalcitrant serfs.

Tim Belcher and Chan Ho Park...amazing because it is a fight where the Asian guy is victimized by some Tae Kwon Do.

Raul Sanchez- who had been throwing at every black who came to bat in 1957, goes to field a bunt laid down by Jim Gilliam. Rather than run to the base, Gilliam spikes Sanchez into the dirt. This was the first usage of the term "Dirty Sanchez"

I think Ty Cobb beat up everyone in the American League in 1922.

Rob Dibble fought both Pat Listach and Lou Pinella in a single season. Listach was a Brewer. Dibble was released shortly after, and the Brewers picked him up. Dibble then, as a Brewer, had to serve the suspension he got for attacking a Brewer.

Dave Winfield charges NolanRyan and beats him like a lazy slave.

Winfield also fought Reggie Jackson, in what was later declared a draw.

Billy Martin went after Reggie, but they were separated. Martin later fought a Milwaukee marshmallow salesman.

Pascaul Perez throws at a batter. Perez, a NL pitcher, has to go to bat 5 times in that game. Each time, he is thrown at.

Albert Belle slams a forearm into 2nd baseman Fernando Vina. Belle later attacks trick or treaters, running one down in his SUV.

Latrell Sprewell- in about two weeks- attacks Danny Fortson with a 2x4, and then strangles coach PJ Carlisemo.

T.O. says that Jeff Garcia exchanged blows with a few guys during his time in S.F.

Lyndon Byers and someone were sent to the penalty box for fighting. They continued to bicker in the box, and eventually stepped back onto the ice before the penalties were served. Byers, 2-0 btw...

A soccer match between England and Italy gets ugly as a wall separating the 2 sides collapses and kills several fans.

A soccer match between El Salvador and Honduras leads to rioting, which leads to military intervention. 3000 dead, 6000 wounded, $50 million in damage.

In a Boston/Philly preseason game, Cedric Maxwell, Larry Bird, Gerald Henderson, M.L. Carr, Mark Iavaroni, Sedale Threatt, Moses Malone and Andrew Toney have several fights. At one point, Bird tears coach Billy Cunningham's sports coat to shreds. Red Auerbach eventually walks onto the court and restores order by himself...at one point telling Moses Malone, "Sit down you big schvatze."

Wilt Chamberlain goes after Sam Jones, who defends himself with a steel chair- 30 years before ECW. Jones later sang his justification: "I wasn't gonna fight him fair...I was gonna use that chair."

Willis Reed goes bonkers, and beats up 4-6 LA Lakers. Phil Jackson said it looked like a grizzly attack he had seen in Montana.

In a super heavyweight bout, Maurice Lucas knocks out Artis Gilmore

Dennis Awtrey sucker punches Kareem.

While it wasn't a fight, Dikembe Mutombo got a reputation for wild elbow flinging. Charles Barkley once got his nose broken ina game that didn't involve Mutombo. When asked if he was going to get it fixed, he said "No need to....I'll just visit Dr. Mutombo next week in Denver"

While it wasn't violent, my research shows me that Chico Lind was arrested for driving without pants.

While it's not reality, I'm being told that Bob Probert couldn't understand why the Hanson Brothers from Slap Shot were supposed to be funny. This echoes the time when Eddie Van Halen didn't realize that This Is Spinal Tap was a comedy.

Reggie Miller gets up on John Starks, who sends him reeling with a headbutt.

Bret Hart knocks out Vince McMahon in an unscripted locker room brawl.

Andre Rison and Deion Sanders- who were fast friends- trade hands during a game after Rison is traded. They actually make up before the fighters are separated. Rison, who didn't press charges when Left Eye burnt his house down, has a high tolerance for deviance.

WWF wrestler and Olympic powerlifter Ken Patera beats up about 10 cops who attempt to remove him from a McDonald's. I think the Devious Mr. Fuji was involved, as well.

A-Rod and Jason Varitek throw down last summer.

I forget who it was, but some WNBA player turns and absolutely tools on a rival as a free throw is being shot. K to the O, y'all.

Ted Green and Wayne Maki have a stickfight in which Maki lands a shot that a lumberjack would envy, caving in the side of Green's skull.

Charles Barkley spits on the crowd at a game, hitting a 7 year old girl. When asked if he regretted it, he replies, "I regret that my spit broke up....I was trying to hock on the heckler, only". Barkley also threw a drunk through a plate glass window, and elbowed an Angolan during a 60 point blowout.

Micheal Westbrook goes postal on an unsuspecting Stephen Davis at practice. He decks him, and then punches him 5 times while he is unconscious. Davis claims to have no idea why Westbrook attacked him.

 Tree Rollins elbows Danny Ainge, who tackles him to the floor. Pinned, Tree resorts to biting Ainge's finger. This was the first sports fight I ever saw where the white guy won. Ainge was later pimp-slapped by Darrell Walker.

 

VIDEO!!!

During a bench-clearing brawl in Madison Square Garden, a fan makes the mistake of stealing Terry O'Reilly's stick. The original T.O. goes into the stands after him, followed by his team. If you watch the top left part of the screen, you can see Mike Milbury beat a man with his own shoe. This fight makes the ARtest brawl look like fan appreciation night. Check the video:

Click Here to view the movie (2.29mb)

 

Here's the Indy/Detroit fight:

Raw Fight Footage

 

Jim Rome pays for insulting Jim Everett:

chris_or_jim.mpeg

 

When a Finnish goaltender beats you up, it's time to take up Yoga:

Pittsburgh Penguins - Chiodo Fight