Athletes Referenced In Song

  

   Oscar Robertson was probably the best guard of his generation, and could stand right next to Air Jordan and say "I'm the best guard who has ever played this game." People will argue with him, but people will argue for him, as well. He was before my time, but he averaged a triple double one year, and perhaps only Russell and Wilt prevented him from having 2 hands of title rings.

   Rod Strickland had a few good years, but eventually drank himself out of the league. By the time he was 30, expansion teams were passing on him. Many GMs of teams he played on said that he probably should have worn a mask as he was picking up his paycheck, because he was essentially stealing his money towards the end.

   But in one way, Rod Strickland is better than the Big O. It has almost nothing to do with basketball, and no, it also has nothing to do with smoking pot, concealing a weapon, slapping women, or computer science.

   A rap group named Capone n Noreaga (The Source review of their debut CD said "You can just look at the name and know what kinda tip these brothers are on")put the following lines into one of their songs, Bloody Money Pt II:

"Whoever thought that so much would have to change
I went to games as a Knicks fan, they had Strickland, they traded him
Ever since then, son, I hated them, **it's turnin sour in the N-Y
Half the team hurt, still nig**z get high and rock Queens shirts"

    So, in his own way, Rod has surpassed the all time greats. This song is chock full of NBA references, including "I got some hoes in the Law getting high like Rik Smits, born hypocrites" and "  Out my crack house, yeah that's crashed out, let me catch that
Just like Stackhouse, kick ya back out, have you mad vexed
Like you did your whole bid, but didn't max out"

   Sometimes, it's better to be famous than good. If things get bad for Rik Smits, he may or may not be able to cash in somehow.

   Being mentioned in a song is sort of like having a really nice car. It's a sign that you have made it. Joe DiMaggio was the greatest player of his generation, banged Marilyn Monroe, and became a 1970s coffee icon. He's done it all. He is also sort of the Captain of the Referenced In Song team. He turns up in 2 songs that pretty much set the standard for sports/music crossovers: John Fogerty's Centerfield and Simon and Garfunkel's Mrs Robinson.

"Say Hey Willie, and tell Ty Cobb and Joe DiMaggio, don't say it ain't so"

"Where have you gone, Joe DiMaggio, a nation turns its' lonely eyes to you...oo oo oo"

   That's clout, folks.

   What I'm trying to do here is get a bunch of references all in one place. I'm gonna do my best right now, and add to it as I think of more. This will be a work-in-progress for some time. If you're reading this in November, you are essentially visiting Leonardo as he is staring at a blank canvas, thinking about how to portray The Last Supper. You are visiting a church, watching a 5 year old Billie Holliday sing hymns.

   OK....there's a huge talent disparity there, but you see what I mean. If you enjoy this article, pop back in now and then...it will keep growing for some time.

   A few notes, before we begin:

- Feel free to use the "Add Comments" section at the end of this piece to throw in any songs I've missed. I may just paste your comment into the main body of the article. This could definitely get you laid somewhere.

- There will be a lot of rap in here, because athletes end up in a lot of rap songs. I'm counting on some heavy-metal people, country folk, and whateverother fans of whatever other styles are out there to pitch in. The Notorious B.I.G. and the Wu Tang Clan seem to enjoy athlete references, and they are all over this list.

- Hank Williams Jr, ELO, Wagner, and dozens of other artists have songs that are associated with sports broadcasts... but unless they name a particular athlete, they're lit out of shuck.

- Bands named after athletes..."Jack Johnson," "Mookie Blaylock," and so forth.....we'll call them as we see em. Niche songs like Basketball Jones or Are You Ready For Some Football won't be in, either.

- Shaq, Gary Payton, Tony Conigliaro, Dana Barros, Bernie Williams, Allen Iverson, Ron Artest, Black Jack McDowell, Wayman Tisdale, Walter McCarty, Deion Sanders, Mike Tyson, Kobe Bryant and hundreds of other athletes have put out CDs. While these athletes go beyond doing songs like "Smell my triple-overtime jock strap" and "She's no groupie...shes my cousin from Chicago, honest," they won't be included here. They are, as we say here, a whole other post.

- Often, I know a song lyric, and I don't know the author of it. Again, feel free to use the Comments section to clue me in on an unknown, or to correct me if I think N-O-R-E was Brand Nubian, or something.

- I may or may not be able to distinguish exactly who is singing during a Simon/Garfunkel or Capone/Noreiga number. I will generally just list the band name.

- I was born in France, and French was the primary language spoken in my household as I grew up. Every word I hear spoken in the English language goes through this little French filter in my brain before it becomes English to me. That said, I will mis-interpret some song lyrics from time to time. I say this for 2 reasons:

   1) I don't want the author of Bloody Money II  angry with me. That song title implies that there could very easily be a Bloody Money III- and it could easily feature a French schoolteacher-mom, should I commit some hip-hop faux pas. Mother always told me notto cross men who are nicknamed "Capone."

   2) My husband went to school with a boy who was known as "Red Dog." Red Dog was at the lunch table one day, humming a tune called "Got a New Drug." He suddenly began to sing it....unfortunately, he sang these lyrics:

"I bought anew truck....one that does what it should....etc...."

   He was ridiculed by the whole cafeteria. He probably ended up taking his cousin to the Prom, and he can blame someone named Huey Lewis for it.

   So. if I do it....cut me some slack.

   Enough of the Preamble...let's get down to business:

 

"I slam tracks like quarterback sacks from LT"   Wu Tang Clan

"Mario Andretti would have sure been proud, of the way I was moving when I passed that crowd"  The Charlie Daniels Band

"Does anybody want some Magic Johnson
L. A. Lakers fast break makers
Kings of the court shake and bake all takers
Back to back is a bad a** fact a claim that remains intact"  Red Hot Chili Peppers

"Orlando Cepeda is at bat with the bases jammed
Orlando Cepeda with a Wham! Bam!
He hit a grand slam
In the very first inning
But it's only the beginning "    Danny Kaye

"I don't want to, but if I have to, I'll kick Kareem"  unknown

"Meanwhile, far away in another part of town
Rubin Carter and a couple of friends are drivin? around.
Number one contender for the middleweight crown
Had no idea what kinda s*** was about to go down"....Bob Dylan

" I don't care, I'll rob your ****'n grandparents...give me the baby rings, and the 'Number One Mom' pendants....I'm slamming n*****s like Shaquille..."  Notorious B.I.G.

"Not since '76(inc), since the Knicks won the championships...has there been some ol' **** like this"   Onyx

" I'll back a n*****r down like Shaq Daddy, then drive off in my black Caddy"  Snoop Dogg

"I'll get your beat runnin' like Randy Moss"  Outkast

"I got more hits than Sanduhara Oh"  The Beastie Boys

"My style's liver(sic) than Allen Iverson, take it to the hole, throw it in, triple doubling"  Wu Tang Clan

" Simple and plain...give me the lane...I'll throw it down your throat like Barkley"   Public Enemy

"She's got a trick, he's a player from the New York Knicks......I'm up in that *** while he's playing 'gainst the Utah Jazz".....Biggie

" If I could be like Mike"  famous Gatorade commercial

" I got mad hits like I was Rod Carew"  Beastie Boys

" Why does Team USA keep getting blown out?" Nas

" Hit 'em wit the force like Obi,  black like Toby, Watch me roam like Kobe"  B.I.G.

" Breakin n****rs down like Evander Holyfield"  Snoop

" Muhammad...Muhammad Ali...floats like a butterfly, stings like a bee....Muhammad, the Black Superman, calls to the other guy 'Catch me if you can'..."  Johhny Wakelin and the Kinshahsa Band

" And i remain convinced of his invincibility
Athletic agility, virility,
Seen your free spirit for every through eternity stings
like a bee, Mr Muhammed Ali"   Faithless

"Bunch a sweet memories to us older rap cats
Muhammad Ali knucklin in tournaments
Pimp daddy hats with buckles and ornaments"   Slick Rick

"I say 'Muhammad Ali', ya say 'Cassius Clay'
I say 'butter' you say 'Parkay'..."  Gangstarr, Nice n Smooth

"...playin Larry Czonka on Sega"   MC Ren

"I can go solo like a Tyson bolo"  Public Enemy

" I'm runnin' s*** straight up, like Micheal Johnson"  unknown

" N***r was wearing some Air Olden Polynice....some Air Christian Slaters....rockin' the latest in Ben Stiller Wear"   Wu Tang Clan

"They get excited, like the Knicks gettin' Jordan in a trade"  unknown

" I'll bust one 80 yards, like Merrill Hodge"  Unknown

" I toss midgets like Elway"  Speed Liizards

" Me and son, playin Tekken Part One on Sony Playstation....doin an all night bid up in the crib,,,whippin a** on this Bruce Lee lookin' kid"   Mike Zoot

"N*****s screamin "Mayday,' cause Ren is kicking like Pele"  Mc Ren

"Who's the first pick? Me...word is bond and not Christian Laettner, not Alonzo Mourning." Shaq Fu

Shaq deserves one line in here. So do DiMaggio and Ali, and quite possibly Willie Mays....but they didn't rap.

"Set it off like roman candles in the hands of vandals...stomp your a** like Wahoo McDaniel"   Wu Tang Clan

"...just like George The Animal,  kick a** on the annual, you need to read the Official Nasty Manual"  Onyx

"I'll serve your *** like John McEnroe"   House of Pain

"Dance with the mantis, note the slim chances
Chant this, anthem swing like pete sampras
Takin it straight to big man on campus"  Wu Tang Clan

To my knowledge, no NHL reference can be found in the rap world. I feel confident enough to set a lobster dinner bounty on one.

" I don't watch sports, only the Yankees and when Sosa's playing"   Cesario

"Powww.... hit you out 'the park like Manny...."    Benzino

"I rock more beats than Jesse Owens ran track meets."

" If rappin were fightin, I'd be Tyson....and all y'all n****** better think...cause right now you're runnin' with Spinks"  Heltah Skeltah

"Speakin, to the punk, who's peakin', with that b****a** style, I'll hit you like Deacon, Jones, how strong? Put out the bones"....Cypress Hill

"Got to the crib, her *** started fightin'...and I was thinking bout my dog Mike Tyson"  Ice Cube

"Every night, I perform like Mike....any one, Tyson, Jor-dan, Jack-son"   Biggie

"I met Ali, he told me I was the Greatest"   Will Smith

" Lookin' out of place...like Fuzzy Zoeller at the Rucker"   Unknown

"Everybody dissed cuz you can't bust this....you've got a bad name like Dick But-kiss(sic)"   The Alkaholics

"You say 'my style'....I say 'your style is played, like wearing Gucci'..you couldn't fade this funk, even if you tried to dou*** me....let loose, G- my n*** are achin' from your grabbin'.....you'll never move no units while I kick s*** like John Madden"   Channel Live

   Stephen is of little help here, btw...His big contribution-besides going to high school with Red Dog- has been to tell me that there is a Marilyn Manson song that says "Steve Garvey" in it.

   There were several young adults in the room who just stared at him as he made this announcement, much like you'd stare if one of your buddies suddenly began speaking in backwards Latin.