Friday, November 12, 2004

Failed "Show" Questions for Tiger Woods

1) My husband likes to go mini-golfing....i'm terrible at it....i can't really afford to look any less intelligent....can Tiger give me any pointers on windmills, putting into lighthouses, etc...

2) Did Charles Barkley hurt anyone at Tiger's wedding?

3) Had Tiger taken a fat wife, would his golf game have suffered so?

4) Will he be taking Fuzzy Zoeller to the Rucker Tournament this summer?

5) Do southern country clubs still refuse him admittance because of his Thai ancestry?

6) Is it just too much fun having a white caddie in Augusta, Georgia?

7) Has he ever been about to hit a putt, only to have a gopher pop out of the ground and start singing Kenny Loggins songs?

8) Is he any good at basketball?

9) What's Natalie Gulbis like in bed?

10) Does he refer to his member as "the nine wood" during lovemaking?

11) When he says hi to the other blacks at the redneck country clubs, do they stop tending bar to talk to him?

12) Do the other golfers occasionally deflate the tires on the golf cart of that quasi-paralyzed guy?

13) Is he Elijah Woods' brother?

14) Has another golfer ever mistaken Woods for a caddie?

15) Does he yell "Who's my CADDIE?!?!" during lovemaking?

16) Has he ever beaten a girl to death with a driver, like the Kennedy kid?

17) Has he ever considered a nice pimp hat for the next US Open?

18) Has he ever taken a figurative attempt at using the ball washer?

19) How come the ball has to be white?

20) Does it hurt to have less Ghetto credibility than Lionel Ritchie?

21) Does the Tiger Woods DVD come with a wedding night video?

22) Will Tiger be skipping the US Open to promote his rap album?  

23) Can you get Tiger and Artest on at the same time? Maybe Artest can scare Tiger into signing on to Tru Warier Records for like $400..

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

'Does he refer to his member as "the nine wood" during lovemaking?'

or #24) Does Tiger prefer a '9-Wood' or a 'Driver' during lovemaking? and does he use Titleist balls or Nike's 'Just Do It' balls?