The Angry Pirate

Conference Final Time.

 The last weekend of multiple football games until next summer or so.

New York takes on Green Bay,while the Chargers travel to Foxy 'Bro to do battle with the Pats. Weather in both Green Bay and Foxboro is supposed to suck....bitter cold, high wind, chance of snow (GB).

In other words...perfect football weather. Well... "perfect" as in "good to watch others playing while I sit by the fire and eat chicken."

Giants (+7) at Green Bay

Eli vs Favre. This is what would happen if Father Time hung around til Baby New Year got out of college, and they had a big fight over the TV clicker or something. Either somebody is still apunk,or someone ought to consider retirement.

Favre and his team seemed to be slumping for a few years, but they went 13-3 this season. You can call a team at 9-7 in the playoffs "lucky," but 13-3 means Bad Luck... for whoever is playing you. Green Bay has terrific cornerbacks, brutal linebackers, and big guys on both lines. They have this kid Grant who came out of nowhere to run for 200 yards last week. They also have Brett Favre.

He's the old gunslinger, playing at home in what could be his final game (although he seems to have a few good years left, obviously), and even I'd be rooting for him to stop the Evil Empire (us).

Unfortunately, he's not in control of his own destiny... Eli Manning is.

When this game is over... Eli is either going to be the toast of the town or the Town Fool. I just can't envision him losing heroically, although I can see Favre doing it.

New York has a fearsome pass rush, a power running game, a coach who may be crazy, and none of it will mean a damn if Eli chokes. A good quarterback can win games for you, and a bad one can f*ck up a wet dream. Nobody typifies this statement more than the cookie lickin' Manning Brothers.

Up until Peyton Manning beat the Pats in the playoffs last year, you couldn't get me to believe that there wasn't some sort of Manning Curse that involved choking on big games. You'd think that Peyton winning a Super Bowl would kill the curse that has haunted his family since his career-length loser father Archie threw his first game clinching interception..... but Peyton has a little brother, and the Curse was merely handed off to him.

In fact...Peyton winning the Super Bowl is part of the curse. It makes it worse for Eli and Archie...and better for people like me, who trade greatly in schadenfreude. Eli may suffer loss after big loss forthe next decade. Once you see a Curse forming up, it's just a matter of paddling your board to the right spot.

Eli's going to f**k up at some point in these playoffs...most likely quite badly. The key for a bettor like myself is predicting whether he's going to fu** up in the NFC Championship or the Super Bowl. I'm rooting for Eli, because I think the Giants are an easier matchup for the Pats. I'd also like to see Favre almost-but-not-quite get it done on his home field in his last game.

Finally... if the Pats somehow lose.... Eli vs. San Diego is interesting. San Diego drafted Eli, who then refused to play for them. The Giants emptied the vault forhim, giving up  Rivers, Merriman, Kaeding and Roman Oben. Merriman has probably been more effective as a pro than Eli and Phillip Rivers combined... so unless Eli wins the Bowl game, NY was stupid to trade for him.

Gotta choose, gotta choose....

Gabrielle? (Stacey's daughter is 1-0 in bookmaking, and beat the spread with her one attempt at prognostication). Any opinion?

Green Bay, 24-14

San Diego at New England (-14)

They hate us, and we barely got by them in the playoffs last year... which will make it all the more enjoyable when we beat their collective ass again.

The key? Guessing how much we'll beat them by. A two touchdown spread is HUGE, especially in an AFC Championship game,and extraspecially if it's gonna be like 12 degrees out and windy.... which it will be. Channel 7 is predicting that the storm that day will go to our south and spare us any snow... so look fo a couple of  inches to fall during the game (I've never forgiven them for blowing the Perfect Storm forecast).

San Diego is a California team, and we should beat them like they lost a dog fight for us. I just don't see a 2 TD marginin that weather.

New England 31-23

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By request.... Here's the "angry pirate," as explained by Patrice O'Neal.

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fjIuPSuYSOY ... about 4:50 in.