Go Shorty... It's Your Birthday

Friday is someone's Smurfday, and she is older than the av-er-age bear. Yes, I actually AM aware that it's Friday the 13th, and no, it doesn't bother me a bit.

I've never been that superstitious, and I don't think luck had anything to do with my being left an orphan, breaking the same leg twice, puking on my first date with my husband, getting mugged while on crutches, being in a car accident when I was pregnant, having a house wrecked by a Nor'easter every 7.2 years of my life, being embezzled from by a family member, being sent to the hospital by a turtle, being knocked unconscious playing soccer, or knowing that my daughters should be taller than I am by 6th grade or so- according to their doctor.

Nope... I live pretty much by logic, and some moral gymnastics that I call the Code Of The East... which, it is said, can mean whatever you need it to mean in a pinch.  I've seen the elephant in my own way during my spin on this here rock.

Smurf's pretty well-connected, even in Europe. She even has some dead friends, although some people are born posthumously. "God is dead," said Nietzsche... "Nietzsche is dead," said God, who generally gets the last laugh in these kind of situations. They're both wrong.

Generally, Smurf turns her column over in times of need to her protege, Beth in New Jersey. Not in October, though. That's when we bring in the heavy hitters.

I met Nietzsche after stumbling upon his MySpace page while looking for another Prussian friend of mine with a similar last name. We hit it off quickly (he's really, really into the WWE), and he agreed to fill in here while I'm off getting drunk and my protege is doing the Homecoming thing at her high school.

Fred knows little of football... but once you've perfected philosophy, you can apply it to most anything. It's a lot like cooking pasta... just throw it against the wall and see if it sticks.... no, not AFTER you put the sauce on it. Stephen actually though you could had to cook pasta in the sauce (you can, but not like he was thinking) before I got to know him. Yet, he weighs more than my sister and I combined.

We've had a long talk, Fred and I.... about what can and can't be said on the pages of Cape Cod Today. Fred had some funny ideas about Jews, Christians, Women, and just about everything else before he died of Loathing in 18whatever. He told me that he'd behave, although it's tough to threaten dead people with any sort of reprisal.

Anywho... I don't want any of you kids giving Nietzsche a hard time while I'm out, and we'll call if we're going to be late. If you misbehave, he'll crush the very foundations of your faith.

 

Buffalo at Detroit-

We have art in order not to die of the truth.

- Buffalo, 16-13

 

Carolina at Baltimore

A strong and well-constituted man digests his experiences (deeds and misdeeds all included) just as he digests his meats, even when he has some tough morsels to swallow.

Carolina, 17-9

 

Cincinnati at Tampa Bay

 The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher esteem those who think alike than those who think differently.

Cincy, 28-7

 

Houston at Dallas

 The great majority of men have no right to existence, but are a misfortune to higher men.

Dallas, 27-10

 

N.Y. Giants at Atlanta

What is good? All that heightens the feeling of power in man, the will to power, power itself. What is bad? All that is born of weakness. What is happiness? The feeling that power is growing, that resistance is overcome

NYG, 13-9

 

Philadelphia at New Orleans

Morality is: the mediocre are worth more than the exceptions...I abhor Christianity with a deadly hatred.

Philly, 28-19

 

Seattle at St. Louis

The man of knowledge must be able not only to love his enemies but also to hate his friends.

Seattle, 20-13

 

Tennessee at Washington

'Faith' means not wanting to know what is true.

Washy, 12-7

 

Kansas City at Pittsburgh

The sick are the greatest danger for the healthy; it is not from the strongest that harm comes to the strong, but from the weakest.

Pittsburgh, 18-16

 

Miami at N.Y. Jets

Against boredom even gods struggle in vain

Miami, 3-0

 

San Diego at San Francisco

Love is a state in which a man sees things most decidedly as they are not.

Diego, 31-7

 

Oakland at Denver

Swallow your poison, for you need it badly.

Denver, 24-6

 

Chicago at Arizona

The broad effects which can be obtained by punishment in man and beast are the increase of fear, the sharpening of the sense of cunning, the mastery of the desires; so it is that punishment tames man, but does not make him "better."

Chicago, 28-14

 

BYE WEEK:

Cleveland - It is possible to imagine a society flushed with such a sense of power that it could afford to let its offenders go unpunished

Green Bay . . . that every will must consider every other will its equal--would be a principle hostile to life, an agent of the dissolution and destruction of man, an attempt to assassinate the future of man, a sign of weariness, a secret path to nothingness.--

 Indianapolis... Without cruelty there is no festival: thus the longest and most ancient part of human history teaches--and in punishment there is so much that is festive!--

Jacksonville... In a man devoted to knowledge, pity seems almost ridiculous, like delicate hands on a cyclops

Minnesota... Madness is the exception in individuals but the rule in groups

New England...He who fights with monsters should look to it that he himself does not become a monster. And when you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you

 

Weekend Assignment #133: Heroes of Free Speech