I'm Putting A Price On Someone's Head

Sagamore gas station got robbed AGAIN tonight....twice in two weeks.. this time two kids, one with a tire iron, the other with the jack.

 "Crackheads," said the attendant. "I actually chased these ones, but I'm pretty old, and smoke a pack a day. These kids were amateurs."

The kids took off in a beaten-up goldish compact wagon with the license plate bent up to obscure the ID number. They'll split  probably a good 15-45 minutes of crack smoking between them with their ill-gotten gains.

"Sh*t, I'll give them a station of their own to run if they need crack that badly,"  said the Boss.  " What a couple of cowardly douchebags."

"The last thief was more calm, and the robbery was actually relatively pleasant," said the attendant.  "This time, I thought I was getting a tire iron to the head until they left."

High Above Courtside is offering $500 to whoever coughs up these two clowns. No questions asked,  no bothersome IRS shenanigans.  Once the attendant has ID'd them, the money's yours... and we'll handle the rest. The bounty goes up to $750 if you bring them directly to us. I can be reached at this email address.

Just in case any would-be thieves are reading this.... the two robberies of this station have coughed up very little money, as the station has a frequent drop policy and the attendants never have more than $30-40 on them. They can't open the safe. The store has no tobacco or Lottery products. As you might imagine, the police have become interested in this station after two robberies in two weeks.... and someone I know may or may not have given the attendant some weaponry.

They need it, because about 10 minutes passed between when the 9-1-1 call was placed and the first cop showed up.

"I dialed 9-1-1, then chased the kids," said the attendant. "Then I went back in and talked to the dispatcher. Then I went out to the street to flag down the cops when they arrived. When they didn't arrive, I went back in and called my boss. Then I went back out to wait for the cops. Then I called Bourne Police directly, and FINALLY a cop showed up. Once they were there, the cops were cool... but that dispatcher should have risen no higher than Pizza Delivery with her skill set."

 

Tags: if you hate these kids, turn them in and make $$