Absolutely Stupid Knowledge I Have

Email to a Friend

- Former President John Quincy Adams was one of our more athletic Presidents. Rain/sun/sleet/snow... every day, Old Man Eloquent would go out for an early morning nude swim in the Potomac.

Once, he had been dodging a reporter who had some tough questions to ask him about the National Bank. This reporter was not so easily put off, and decided to hit Achilles right in the heel.

So... she waited outside the White House one morning, watched JQA doff his clothes and jump into the water... and then sat on his clothes.

There's really no cool way to handle that if you're a man, unless you think you have a shot at some sex or something.

"May I ask what you're doing?" said JQA.

"I want that interview, and you're not getting dressed until I have it."

"Don't make me have to obtain my clothes by force."

"Try it. I'll scream, and 20 fishermen will be down here in an instant."

"Can I have my clothes back if I promise to do the interview?"

"No. Interview, then clothes."

It's tough to bargain when cold water is rapidly shrinking your testicles, so JQA was interviewed about the National Bank while standing chest deep- nude- in the Potomac River.-

 

Ever feel gypped that New England doesn't have their own Superhero?

Resent no more...

There are at least 3 New England-based superheroes, and 5 if you count Connecticut.

1) Dr. Fate operates out of a semi-visible castle in Salem, MA.

2) The first headquarters of the Justice League was in Happy Harbor, Rhode Island... in a cave.

3) "Empire City, MA" is the home of the Manhunter (who isn't my younger sister, I should add). Empire City appears roughly where New Bedford is on comic book atlases. I have no idea who the Manhunter is, but he's one of ours and drops his R's.

4+5) The Atom operates out of either Ivy City or Calvin City, Connecticut

6) Myrbie & Dax  are believed to operate out of Harwichport, Massachusetts.

7) Aquaman, contrary to popular opinion, does not keep a summer residence off Hyannisport. "The Million Dollar Man" Ted DiBiase does, however.

For info that you may be able to use in winning a bar bet... Metropolis (home of Superman) is supposed to be in Delaware. Gotham City (home of Batman) is in Southern New Jersey. Gotham City and Metropolis are supposedly on either side of Delaware Bay.

Both cities strongly resemble New York, but NYC appears as a separate city in both comics. Author Frank Miller once descibed Gotham City as "Manhattan below 14th Street, at 10 minutes to midnight on the coldest day in November."

Batman being needed in New Jersey, one can understand... but what goes on in friggin' Delaware? Then again, maybe Superman is why nothing goes on there...

DC Atlas - New England

 

- The Top 10 Cheesiest Pizza Toppings in History - Asylum | For All Mankind

This site was thought provoking. The McDonald's pizza just photographs the best. I was fond of the pickles/grapes/port pizza, which didn't look that bad.

One pizza that did look bad was the one Pizza Hut tried out in Japan. The crust was stuffed with hot dogs and moltern cheese. The toppings included hamburger, egg rolls, and Godzilla meat. My rough estimate puts it at 15,000 calories.

There was also "Squid Ink" and "Fried Egg" pizzas.

 

- National Basketball Association American Bar Association NBA Atlantic Division - SI Vault

The American Basketball Association (ABA), which gave us Dr. J, the slam dunk contest and a bad Will Ferrell movie, concluded operations at the Dunfey's Resort in Hyannis.

They also gave us The Kentucky Colonels, which is a good segue into our next silly fact.

 

- The Colonel isn't actually a Colonel. He maxed out at Sergeant. The reason we call him "The Colonel" is that he shares a name with a legendary Colonel.

No, it's not Klink or Hogan. In fact,I'll never tell... well, maybe if someone guesses right.

Elle, who doesn't know this, just thinks he was a Colonel. To my knowledge, she doesn't actually know his first name.

 

- More fringe Monponsett stuff....

"Abdullah" is actually the man's name. He's not a Muslim, though.

His mother went into labor in a traffic jam, and he was delivered by a firefighter. To honor this hero, the Mom decided- right there and then- to name the baby after him.

Personally, I would have given him a bottle of Scotch, and gone with something else... but this was pre-9/11.

 

- Everyone has a little Irish in them... a fact proven by the presence of Darth Vader and his stormtroopers at the most recent St. Patrick's Day parade in Southie..