I sell in the $4 millions, and I'm cheap at the price. If I looked like the girl above, I'd ask for $10 milly.
I scored well on this, mostly due to the fact (well, I'm guessing) that I have a lot of real estate income, consider myself to be athletic and funny, did well on the SATs, and told them I was bisexual.
I stole this off fellow CodBlogger Kinepela... here's the link to that:
To keep yourself amused on this cold Friday, here is the infamous NWA quiz from The Phat Phree.
This is NC-17, but even if you aren't a fan of NWA, it can never hurt to understand the mentality of the person who may be robbing you one day (In all fairness, Eazy-E is dead, Ice Cube has a movie career, Dre is a producer/mogul... although MC Ren must have spent up his NWA money by now, and he seemed to be the meanest one).
You either know it or you don't. I grew up in all-white Duxbury, yet I always had an ear for rap music. When I began teaching hood rats, they saw this and appraciated it. While there was no ceremony, I was told that I had been awarded a Ghetto Pass by December of my first year.... and I hadn't even kicked the racist guy in the nuts yet (that will be a future entry, trust me).
This quiz may not be enjoyable for everyone, and it may upset a goodly majority of you. If your the kind of person who listens to Kenny G or Celine Dion, you may want to skip down to the cranberry bread recipe, which will be more up your alley.
If you read this journal and wish for more Locker Room Unit shots and videos of people being beaten, you may indeed find this to be quite enjoyable.
If you are one of those absolutely open-minded people who isn't put off easily, I'd imagine that you would view this as an interesting look into the minds of people who don't write poetry or make Sundance Film Festival offerings.
Again, this will offend everybody that isn't a rap music fan or a sociologist... and when I say "rap," I don't mean R Kelly or Black Eyed Peas fans, either.
Also... this quiz has an audio format that may not be the thing you want happening out of your cubicle or receptionist desk.
Bon appetit.
Cranberry Bread
2 eggs, beaten
1 cup orange juice
1/4 cup water
2 grated orange rinds
1/4 cup melted butter
4 cups flour
1 teaspoon salt
1 tablespoon baking powder
2 cups sugar
1 cup chopped nuts
2 cups chopped cranberries
Combine the first five ingredients.
Sift dry ingredients and blend well with creamed mixture.
Add nuts and cranberries.
Turn into 2 greased and wax-paper lined loaf pans.
Bake at 325 degrees for 40 minutes.
Lower heat to 300 degrees and bake 40 minutes more.
Remove bread from pans and peel wax paper before cooling.
Can be frozen...
Maple Broiled Scallops
2 pounds scallops
1 pound bacon
1/3 cup of maple syrup
Preheat broiler.
Wrap bacon slice around each scallop and secure with a toothpick. Place on a wire rack on a baking sheet. Brush with maple syrup.
Broil for 3 to 5 minutes about 4 inches from the heat source, turn, brush with more maple syrup and broil for 2 to 3 minutes more, until bacon begins to crisp. Serve at once.
Mulled Cider
8 cups of apple cider
4 cinnamon sticks
10 allspice berries
Rum
Combine cider, cinnamon sticks and allspice berries in a large stainless steel saucepan.
Simmer over medium heat for 30 minutes.
Pour hot cider into large cups.
Put a cinnamon stick in each cup as garnish.
Add a shot of rum to each cup if desired
Maple Fizz
1 qt milk
1/4 cup maple syrup
12 oz ginger ale
Add maple syrup to milk, mix very well, perhaps use a blender. Pour into tall glasses (about 2/3 full) and fill remainder with ginger ale. .
Grilled Seafood Soup
Broth
1 medium potato
1 medium onion cubed
3oz linguica
1 hot cherry pepper (pastene)
1 1/4 Cup brown ale
2 Cup water
12 clams
Salt and pepper to taste
Directions
Place potato, onion, sausage, cherry pepper, water and beer in pan. Simmer until potato is tender. Add clams, cover and cook until clams open. Remove from heat, remove clams, strain broth and hold.
12 scallops
12 mussels
12 shrimp
Grill scallops and shrimp over high heat until just cooked.
Steam mussels (or grill, covered) until open.
Finely dice 1 T red bell pepper and snip 1T parsley.
Arrange scallops, shrimp, mussels and clams in bowl, garnish. Pour over hot broth at tableside, and enjoy.
Beer Beef Stew
4 lbs stew meat cut into
2-inch pieces
Salt and freshly ground pepper to taste
3 Tbs all-purpose flour
4 Tbs butter or half olive oil
3 large onions, thinly sliced
3 cups dark beer
1 tsp dried thyme
2 bay leaves
2 Tbs red currant jelly
1 Tbs red wine vinegar
Directions
Season the beef generously with salt and pepper and dust lightly with
flour.
Heat half the butter in a large, heavy skillet over high heat
and brown the beef in small batches until browned on all sides,
transferring them to a large, heavy pot as they are done.
Add the
remaining butter to the same skillet and sauté the onions until nicely
browned, about 20 minutes. Transfer the onions to the pot with the
beef. Deglaze the skillet with the beer, scraping up all the brown
bits on the bottom of the pan, and add the beer to the pot.
Stir in
the thyme and bay leaf and bring to a boil over high heat. Reduce the
heat and simmer covered until the meat is very tender, 1 1/2 to 2
hours. Stir in the currant jelly and vinegar immediately
Chicken Archduke
4 Tbs butter
1 medium onion, finely chopped
1 Tbs paprika
4 - 6 skinless, boneless chicken breast halves
1/4 cup chicken stock
1/4 cup dry vermouth
1 cup heavy cream
Salt and freshly ground pepper to taste
Chopped fresh parsley for garnish
Directions
Heat the butter in a skillet large enough to hold the chicken in a
single layer. Saute the onions until tender but not brown, about 10
minutes.
Stir in the paprika. Lightly brown the chicken in the
butter mixture, about 2 minutes per side. Place the skillet in a
preheated 400F oven until the chicken is firm to the touch,
about 6 to 8 minutes. Remove the chicken and keep warm.
Add the
chicken broth and vermouth to the skillet and reduce over high heat
until the liquid is almost evaporated. Add the cream and reduce until
the sauce has thickened slightly.
Season with salt and pepper. Spoon
the sauce over the chicken and garnish with chopped parsley.
Squash Bisque
4 strips cob smoked bacon, sliced very thin
2 medium carrots, peeled and diced
2 medium onions, peeled and diced
1 bouquet garni
3 quarts chicken stock
4 chef potatoes, peeled and cubed
4 acorn squash, peeled and cubed
1 Tbs. sugar
pinch salt
pinch cayenne pepper
1 oz. dark rum
1/2 oz. fresh lime juice
chopped parsley
Directions
In large saucepan, slowly render bacon until crisp. Add carrots, onions, and bouquet. Cook until vegetables are soft. Add chicken stock and simmer for 90 minutes.
Add potatoes, squash, salt, and pepper. Simmer 40 minutes, then puree. Add rum and lime juice. Check seasonings and adjust to taste.
If this journal doesn't give you enough Cape Cod goodness, allow me to recommend www.Codblogs.com, which is a collection of Cape Cod-themed blogs. If you are into the whole Cape Thing, this is the place for you to be.
Now, I qualify as a J.O.C. (just off Cod). Even though I'm on the mainland side of the bridge, I'm a Cape Codder. I grew up in Duxbury... two towns off the Cape, and so amazingly different that it is almost like a whole other state. Where the Cape has a Summer of 42 feel to it, Duxbury has a Summer of (18)42 feel to it.
The old-timers tell me that you're a Cape Codder once you realize that you are the only person you know (besides your neighbors) who has to drive Northwest to get to Boston. I may or may not be technically on the Cape here in Buzzards Bay, but I made it onto CodBlogs.
The Cape is a fun spot. Yet, it is madly overrated. They may have 50 days of summer weather, and the principal economic activity seems to be selling antiques to one another.... then going to a seafood place with the profits. Buzzards Bay may have 3000 people living in it... but we have about 10 antique shops, and 15 restaurants.
There's also an inordinate amount of people who grew up here, stayed here after high school, and found out that there were no jobs (there's a by-law concerning how many Antique shops one town can have)... and now sort of hang around at the bar all day.
Throw in some Massachusetts Maritime Academy cadets, some beached fishermen, and a thriving biker community... and you'll have a very good chance of seeing a rowdy bar fight at 11:15 AM on a Wednesday morning in December. The Mass Maritime cadets behave worse than the Hell's Angels do, btw.... and the fights tend to go to whatever side rolls with greater numbers.
Aesthetically, it is beautiful. Cape Cod was shaped by glaciers and gradual sea erosion. Sand dunes, cranberry bogs, pine trees, and never being more than 5 minutes from a beach (even a cold one) are good things to try to move near. The population density goes from neighbor's children walking into your house in summer to no trick or treaters at all by Halloween.
Traffic is bad, until you find the Bournedale Road. This allows you to skip all the Sagamore and Bourne Bridge traffic by driving through a windy country road that passes a horse farm, two cranberry bogs, 5 miles of the Miles Standish State Forest, and Little Sandy Pond. It might add one mile onto a trip from Duxbury to Buzzards Bay, but it saves the driver 30-75 minutes... depending on whether it is a summer day or not.
Now, this journal rarely covers Cape Cod events... I may have had one sports article about the Bourne Braves, and a few others concerning cranberry harvests, Nor'easters, and the season's first snow.
Still, it is a Cape phenomena, and the people of Cape Cod may one day be held accountable for the damage that I do. Until then, go to www.CodBlogs.com and check out a truly unique corner of the world.
Steve gets the heave in Detroit.
This is a lesson in how football management works. The GM fires the coach. The owner fires the GM. If the owner is stupid enough to hire the GM that wastes 3 lottery picks to fill the same position... and to give a five year extension to the guy who drafted Josie Harrington #3 overall before that.... you can see who's head is going to roll.
Mooch wasn't a great coach. His teams never got any better, and players under his tutleage (read: Harrington) actually regressed. That said, he deserves better than to be fired for Matt Millen's mistakes.
Detroit has been bad for my whole life. Even when the had the splendid Barry Sanders, they were simply also-rans. They've had a top ten draft pick every year this decade... and they still stink.
Chances are pretty good that Detroit will get another high draft pick this year... and chances are better that Millen will fumble this one away, too. It seems that the owner cares only about Millen's ability to suck a golf ball up a garden hose, because he just fired a coach for playing the sad hand Millen dealt him.
Pizza Boy in Wareham (508- 295-2095) doesn't know it yet, but they'll be making one of these for my new main man.... and one for me, for generating this free publicity. High Above Courtside needs revenue to keep up this kind of Nation Wide Action.... but we'll settle for a large linguica pizza.!
TownOnline.com - Wareham Bulletin - Local News - Printer friendly
Stephen Brown has it bad. Mitochondrial Metabolical Disease bad, or gradually shutting down all of your major organs bad. He knew he was dying before he figured out that whole Anta-say thing. He may be dead by the time you read this... it's that bad.
One usually doesn't laugh out loud when reading his story, but I have a certain affinity for black humor, and this kid has it by the bushel-effing-basket. Here's his dying request, as relayed by his mother:
" He picked out an outfit to wear. And he wants to eat steak and beer and pizza and a salad before he goes. I don't know where he got the beer idea from. We don't drink beer in this house."
A lot of kids would ask to sit in the dugout with David Ortiz, or to have Ashlee Simpson go to his school dance. Not this kid. He wants beer, pizza and a fat steak. The salad is on the list no doubt for Roughage, but that's beside the point: This little SOB rocks like going to an Alice In Chains concert with 2 arms full of heroin.
To be honest, his wish list seems more like something you'd hear from a guy on Death Row, which- despite the fact that the kid has a date with Mr. Death coming up- is unusual, as most innocent 8th graders don't really have that Rae Carruth kind of mentality.
I have a sneaking suspicion that young Stephen Brown, if allowed the opportunity to add to his list, would jot down these three addendum:
1) Turn on the game
2) Hot chick serving the beer...
3) ..who leaves after. Well after...
If any of my readers hears about this kid starting that final slide towards the Light... let me know, and I'll make sure this kid has at least one day where he stuffs his face like Henry VIII. I'm a town away.
Also.... fat mad props to both Morse Lumber and the kids at Upper Cape Cod Tech. These two have joined forces to build a spare room for Young Goodman Brown. If you read that article, you see a kid who needs his own room.... and not for medical reasons, either.
Sometimes, a man just needs his own four walls... and a large extra cheese/linguica/ red pepper/bacon/mozzarella/mushroom pizza.
To be honest... when my number's up... I'm asking for the Stephen Brown Special.
Upper Cape Cod Regional Technical School Home
BostonHerald.com - Boston Celtics: Barnes comes off bench with claims
Red Auerbach had his victory cigar, and Marvin Barnes had his fat nostril duel with the Peruvian Light Infantry while sitting on the same bench that Bill Russell once graced (it was the same bench, too... the Boston Garden was a truly nasty building, and I miss it dearly).
Now, your humble Smurf has nothing against the occasional schniggedy-schnoutful of the White Man's Burden... but when you are banging down what I'd gather were huge snorts of Tony Yayo with your head under a towel (as about 4000 children watched), it may be time for some lengthy introspection.
Marvin "Bad News" Barnes was a bit before my time, but he's that kind of ugly story you find when you poke around in the NBA's 1970s era. This was the post Wilt/Russell yet pre Larry/Magic days, and the big names were Dr. J, Havlicek, Maravich, Kareem, etc... The NBA was a weak sell.
Boston was in sad shape at the end of the 1970s. After Havlicek retired, the franchise was ass-out ugly.The Celtics were sold a few times- at different times, it was run by a Florida land baron and a chicken salesman- and a mammoth trade swapped half of the Celtics with half of the Buffalo/soon-to-be San Diego/ then Los Angeles Braves-Clippers.
Things worked out well enough eventually, as Red Auerbach stole Larry Bird and some trades/drafts worked out... but at the end of the 1970s, the Boston bench was the kind of place from where a man just might have to salute Colombia.
Boston was Valhalla compared to the ship of destruction that was the sad life of Marvin Barnes. Who ever hung the "Bad News" nickname on Barnes must have had a direct male bloodline descent from Nostadamus, because he was one of an effing kind. Tremendous bio, too:
Marvin Barnes - Spirits of St. Louis - Players
DP could tell you better than I could, but Barnes was a smooth 6'9" forward who had been on a splendid Providence team that almost brought the NCAA baby home to that nasty little city in Rhode I-land. He went into the ABA, and tore the league apart... except when he didn't show up to games, or when he turned up at a pool hall after being missing for a few weeks.
The best News story I know (from either David Halberstam or Frank Powers) involves Barnes sleeping through a team flight. They called him to tell him he was going to miss the flight. "News will catch a later flight," he said.
About 5 minutes before tipoff, Barnes shows up. He's dressed in his uniform, and wearing a full-length mink coat. He's also polishing off a Big Mac and fries. "Have no fear... Bad News is here."
He scored 44 that night, they say.... and had chartered a plane to make the game. He was probably out of basketball 4 years later.
Marvin had signed a huge contract, but that money is long gone, now. He made several non-refundable investments in Bolivian agricultural interests, and his release from the Clippers (his final shot was an airball) actually led to a small recession in Peru.
Drugs are fun, kids.... but- as with anything you do in life- moderation is the key. Marvin certainly had the finances to be in a Newport mansion right now, instead of working for a Providence do-gooder foundation.
Speaking of which, check it out... The Rebound Foundation is a nice bunch of folks.
Iowa residents would know better than I, but one would assume that there comes a time- most likely a time that includes the period when the tornado is actually in your yard- that you'd better get into the basement.
This time varies greatly from person to person, and especially so when one of those people is myself and the other is this sick eff who got this video:
CNN Daily News Clips :Amateur Tornado Video
It's Iowastanding!
