Massachusetts Uber Alles

As the smoke stench from the ruined Meza Luna wafts across the bay into my window... we have a whole heckuvalot to talk about.

Manny, bases loaded, 1-2, 1st inning... Carmona throwing straight 90s at him... on the coach at home, UMJ.

Grand Salami! J.D. Drew just matched his regular season RBI total in one swing.

Baseball is my least favorite sport. It's high drama, no doubt.... I just never could play it. My eyesight is too bad (or, as I like to say, the ball is too small), and I don't really like to have stuff thrown at me. I spend a lot of time going EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKK when I play baseball, which isn't often.

Now, get me on the court, and I'm trouble... last week, I messed around and had a triple double.... but I digress.

The Sox will be dead or alive by the time you read this, so we'll just sort of let them work that out for themselves. We're here to talk football, as I sort of neglected to do it during the week because I was Otherwise Occupied. We did get a bit of Miami talk out of the Monponsett AOL interview, so we can skip that other than to predict a 17-13 Patriots win, well below the 74 point spread that I think Vegas is providing.

 

Tennessee 13, Houston 10

When in doubt, bet on the team which has sucked less historically 

 

Tampa Bay 17, Detroit 16

More history... Detroit once lost the Battle Of Detroit. Bet Tampa. 

 

New Orleans 28, Atlanta 19

 I wonder if anyone has forcibly sodomized Mike Vick yet in the joint.

 

Baltimore 24. Buffalo 17

 If they have... Vick may have looked back at the man and said "Well... still beats living in Buffalo."

 

NY Giants 28, San Fran 14

 NFL teams should all keep at least one actual Giant on their rosters to block field goals and stuff.

 

Washington 20, Arizona 17

 They'd bring some guys back from the most recent Cardinals team that won a NFL championship, except that it's easier to find a Spanish-American War veteran.

 

KC 24, Oakland 20

 Tony Gonzalez is so elusive, he snuck into Missouri from Mexico without touching Texas.

 

Cincy 38, NY Jets 27

Mangina will be coaching Brewster High at this time next year. 

 

Dallas 28, Minny 13

Dallas should do OK now that they're back in the JV games.

 

Philly 16, Chicago 13

Chicago will get like 7 sacks and still lose.

 

St. Louis 28, Seattle 27

 They gotta win sometime. I choose Now.

 

Denver 17, Pittsburgh 15

 6-1, Red Sox... and it's fitting that our Navajo player may have driven the last nail into the Indians.

 

Indy 24, Jacksonville 17

Peyton Manning is the only non-Yankee that I actually want to see suffer some catastrophic injury. I know, it's wrong. Deal (v).