Top Matchups That Never Happened:
- Jesse James vs Billy the Kid...high noon...10 paces...winner gets Doc Holliday
- George Bush II and John Kerry decide the 2004 US Presidency with an arm wrestling match.
- Saddam's Iraq invades Taliban-run Afghanistan
- Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera, Hell in a Cell
- Satchell Paige pitching to Sandaharu Oh in the 9th inning of a tied 7th game.
- Kirstie Alley and Roseanne Barr delve into Sumo
- Robert E. Lee takes on George Patton in checkers
- Starve them for 3 days, feed them some speed, and have a pit fight between Lassie and Benji
- Warren Beatty gets one evening to seduce Martina Navratilova
- Richard Petty and Dale Earnhardt...sledding down Mount McKinley
- Jason Kidd dumps his wife and marries Lalia Ali
- Knute Rockne and Vince Lombardi get a week to familiarize themselves with an XBox, and then play Madden 2004 for a cool million
- Columbus, Magellan, Drake, and Vasco de Gama race across the Gulf of Mexico in catamarans during hurricane season
- Davy Crockett and Daniel Boone get one calendar year to produce a Sasquatch carcass
- Calvin Klein, Tommy Hilfigger, Timberland, Laura Ashley, Fubu, Kathie Lee Gifford, Armani, and DKNY design the new uniform for the US Navy, with a national election deciding the winner.
- Snoop Dogg and 50 Cent vie to craft a teen-friendly Pledge of Allegiance
- Ted Washington and William Howard Taft sit down at an all-you-can-eat babyback ribs cafe...who has to leave the table first?
- Coach Larry Bird discusses potential free agents with GM Al Sharpton
- Scott Weiland and Robert Downey Jr. discover a poppy field abutting their properties....who dies first?
- Johnny Carson starts a late-night show on ABC...who gets the higher ratings between him, Leno, and Letterman?
- Rocky Marciano and Roy Jones(moving up several weight classes) play Rock Em Sock Em Robots
- Miss Universe 2004 is decided by the ability to impress Hugh Hefner
Monponsett and Gore Vidal in a writing contest, the one who makes the least amount of references of themselves, wins! :>)
ReplyDeleteI'd kick his ass...
ReplyDeleteBy the way...here's who would win:
ReplyDelete- Billy the Kid, vs both
- John Kerry, although Bush would put up a good fight
- Iraq, in a walkover
- Aguilera, by submission
- Yerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr Out, Oh!
- Barr, in a frightening display of power
- Lee
- Lassie
- Beatty gets passed over for Maria Shaparova
- Earnhardt would put him into the trees
- Ali, TKO
- Lombardi, by a last second field goal
- I'm gellin' like Magellan
- Crockett
- Timberland
- Snoop...who includes the phrase "Pimp Pimp Fluid"
- Ted accidentally consumes Taft as he is blinded by BBQ sauce
- Indiana's starting 5- Wallace, Bunker, Lee, Rocker and Parcells
- Isn't Weiland dead yet?
- Howard Stern appears out of nowhere and crushes all of them
- the robots sort of "look" like Rocky, so I'll go with Roy
- The 2004 Miss America....Eve Ellis